80% of American mothers have postpartum depression

Why men should not marry

Sex after marriage stops

Marry foreign women only

Marry only if you want kids

Children are so overrated

Why marriage no longer makes sense

Examples of modern American women / page 2 3

Any American man can find a beautiful and loyal foreign girlfriend or wife

Give me ONE good reason why a man should sign a marriage contract with an American woman

You should be proud if American women call you a "loser"

American women will bring out the WORST in you

Typical evening of a married man with kids

What your future wife will be thinking a few years after you have children

Men should not even think about getting married and having children until they are in their 40s

Majority of American women have Histrionic and Narcissistic disorders

20% of men who think they are fathers are not

Description of modern American women

90% of American women marry up

Whom not to marry

American women are fucked, they priced themselves out of the market

Fucking decent mid-priced whores twice a week is less expensive than a wife

A page for men under 25 and for everyone else who is still chasing pussy

Marriage means you become a slave to your job

Why marriage used to work, but no longer works

How women manipulate you

American woman's "Perfect Guy" qualities list

Enduring The Incessant Whining of Single Females on Valentines Day

Links *

Important Articles - read them all

Why couples on vacation are not having sex - great article. Read it before wasting your time/money/energy on a sexless vacation with your SO.

Women aspire to be housewives - without any of the housework - the article describes women as selfish parasites, yet spins it as a search for "fulfillment".

Women cheating - 60% of women will cheat. American women cheat because they "deserve all of the pleasure". Cheating wives suffer absolutely "no guilt" but feel "entitled" to the good feelings they get. American wives talk about how they cheat Confessions of a Personal Trainer Cheating women catching up with men - when it came to having cheated four or five times in the course of a relationship, women moved ahead of men with eight percent against four.

Statistics on how worthless western women actually are - 96% lie, 45% lie most days, 57% steal, 38% would marry purely for money, 50% would lie about the man not being the actual father.

Marital stress is bad for your health - wife who makes your life stressful will increase your risk for everything from chronic pain to a heart attack.

The trouble with marriage - Very good article. Great overview of this website.

Marriage used to provide access to sex. Now it provides access to celibacy (The Atlantic Monthly)

School in Mexico trains girls to be good wives.

Canadian Marriage rate is down 7% in one year. No surprise there. I get reports that, as incredible as it may seem, Canadian women are even worse than American women.

Ladies' Men: Great for Sex, but not for Marriage The article explains why a husband is a sucker whose only purpose is to finance children (that are often not even his).

Western bitches are panicking that men no longer want to support their fat nagging asses. It's amazing that the feminist bitch says that men who are smart and don't want to slave away to support their bitch-wives are a "threat to society".

66% of mothers aged 25 to 29 are single monthers (most of them living in permanent poverty), up from 37% in 1986.

Majority of NYC women are single - NYC has the most high-maintenance, superficial, and stuck up women. It's no wonder nobody wants them.

Married couples stop having sex - sugar-coated article to make things look much better than they actually are.

Christian site says wives can not refuse sex with their husbands.

American men in Russia abandon their American girlfriends

Asia: heaven for men, hell for women

Single, white and looking - Another article about how white women in Asia can not find men.

Men commit to staying single

Very well put together Marriage Contract recent addition

Translation of words in women's personal ads from woman-speak into English

Translation of common phrases from woman-speak into English

NoMarriage.com awards - given to men who excel at being non-pussified.

A page for non-western men thinking about marrying western women recent addition

30 things you'll never hear a woman say

Remote control for women

Finally, an inspirational and positive page for women who made it this far

Man selling collection of 26 Beanie Babies from ex-wife on Ebay

Man selling ex-wife's wedding dress on Ebay

Famous quotes about women and marriage

White American feminists engage in widespread racist hate speech

NoMarriage.com

Fourth Edition

Copyright © 2005

Jon Hertzog

All rights reserved. Please only read this book on your computer

and/or print it out for yourself.

Please do not forward this book to your friends. Ask them to buy their

own copy by going to www.noMarriage.com. I spent a good part of the

last 5 years researching this book and I would like to continue

working on this project. I can only do that if I get paid for the

book.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or

by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without

prior written permission in writing from author of this book.

2

Ch 1 - Marriage statistics. “Modern Western Women”. 3

Ch 2 - Why marriages to American women fail 6

Ch 3 - Most American men get married for the "wrong" reasons 8

Ch 4 - Determine if YOU want children in the near future 9

Ch 5 - You decided that you do NOT want children in the near future 11

Ch 6 - You decided that you want children in the next few years 12

Ch 7 - Travel to Latin America, Eastern Europe, 13

or Asia at least once a year

Ch 8 - Will your girlfriend make a good wife? 15

Ch 9 - My girlfriend will not make a good wife. Now what? 21

Ch 10 - Suckers, Fuckers, and the truth about how 22

American women get married

Ch 11 - Why marriage to American woman no longer makes sense 25

Ch 12 - Do not get into relationship and marriage 26

discussions with American women

Ch 13 - The biggest costs in marriage are initiated by women 28

but have to be paid for by men

Ch 14 - Men's responsibility is an obsolete concept 30

Ch 15 - Unmarried men will live longer and happier lives 31

Stress in married men’s lives

Ch 16 - Western women and their Psychological/Mental problems 34

Ch 17 - Are you better off living by yourself? 35

Ch 18 - "Monogamy is only due to a man's failure in business" 36

JP Getty

Ch 19 - Research shows that marriage makes men literally dumber 37

Ch 20 - Financial planning for single men 38

Ch 21 – Living together with a girlfriend 40

Ch 22 – Things to do before you get married 41

Ch 23 - Frequently asked questions 42

Ch 24 - Marriage and relationship quotes 45

Ch 25 – List of the best US Cities for single men 46

Ch 26 - Final thoughts 48

3

Chapter 1

of a “modern western woman”. A modern western woman typically either

lives or moves to a big (usually coastal) city, stays single until her

late 20s (sometimes until her mid 30s), then starts looking for a

"suitable" husband. The main (pretty much the only) reason she is

looking for a husband is because she wants children and a nice house,

and she can not afford them by herself. Plus she is starting to think

that working kind-of sucks and she is considering cutting down to

part-time or stopping working altogether once she finds a husband.

Most of the content in this book and nomarriage.com website is about

modern western women.

The very discouraging marriage statistics is that 4 out of 5 men

regret marrying:

divorce rate has not been increasing over the last 5-10 years is

because less people get married in the first place.)

with nagging and bitching wives, but they choose not to divorce

because they are afraid of being wiped out financially during

divorce.

You put the two together and at least 4 out of 5 married men (80%)

either get divorced or trapped in miserable marriages.

Will you be one of the lucky 1 out of 5 men who is relatively happy

with marriage? Not likely unless you and your future wife live your

lives largely outside the mainstream American values and your wife is

not a "modern western woman".

My research shows that the following groups of people make up the

majority of the relatively happy marriages (the majority of that 20%

of relatively happy marriages):

1. Very religious people.

A lot of people in the US consider themselves to be religious, and

that's fine. But for the purpose of this book very religious people

have to be defined as people who strictly follow (and I do mean

follow, not just talk about it) some form of

traditional/conservative ideology as it relates to men/women and

marriage. Think of a typical "modern western woman" as defined

above. Then think of a traditional young Mormon woman from a very

strict family (I am only using Mormon as an example, it can be any

conservative religion). Now think about those two women as being on

4

the opposite sides of the spectrum. Women I am talking about here

are women on the traditional/conservative side of the spectrum.

2. People living in the rural South and rural Midwest.

Women there tend to be a lot less materialistic, self-centered,

anti-male, and mentally unstable. Men there also tend to be in

charge of their lives and they don’t put up with any BS from women.

Sometimes I get emails from men who are lucky enough to genially

not understand what all the fuss is about. These men say that their

wives are great, then they say they don’t spend much time with

their wives and spend their free time hunting, riding a Harley,

doing things like that. If I ask them about their wives, it always

turns out that their wives are closer to 50s housewives than to

modern western women.

Perhaps a more accurate way to classify this group would be “people

from mostly rural areas who marry early”. Not everyone in this

group is in the South or Midwest. There are plenty of women like

that living 150 miles from Manhattan. And not all women who marry

early are from the rural areas; but for the sake of simplicity I

will lump them all under this umbrella.

What matters is that these women marry early and usually stay

married unless something really serious goes wrong. They also marry

for "love" or for idealistic reasons if you want to call it that.

Another way to look at it is that they choose their future husbands

almost accidentally or randomly. They basically marry whoever

happens to ask them on a date when they are 17-19yo, who seems nice

and treats them well. So whoever becomes their first or second

serious boyfriend is likely to become their husband.

The conventional wisdom (at least the one that modern western women

subscribe to) is that these types of marriages are not likely to

work out. But in actuality they have a very reasonable chance of

working out quite well. The biggest potential risk with these

marriages is that people may change a lot between they are 17-22

and 28-35 years old.

A man may end up with drinking/drugs problem and/or beating up his

wife. Or he may just become lazy and complacent. A woman may become

lazy, uninterested in anything, spending the whole day literally

sitting on a couch eating ice cream and watching TV. A few years of

sitting on a couch and she is 100 lbs overweight often with

drugs/alcohol addiction. Some women in this group also evolve into

high-maintenance, demanding, and bitchy over time.

But a lot of these marriages work out well. If both parties

continue treating each other well and continue putting some effort

into their relationship and appearance, and if the woman does not

evolve into a high-maintenance bitch, then the marriage will

probably work out fine. That's a lot of ifs, but at the end a

5

reasonable percentage of these marriages turn out well, which is

still a lot better than close to zero percent of good marriages

with modern western women as the rest of the book will show.

3. People choosing to live a simple lifestyle.

People practicing "simple living" live their lives largely outside

the mainstream consumer society. There is a big difference between

people choosing to live simple lifestyle and people who are "poor".

People choosing simple lifestyle often live below their means and

focus on what they consider "qualities of life" issues or other

non-material issues that are important to them rather than on

accumulation of material wealth.

The “simple living” people are a hard group to define because they

come from different backgrounds. Some people in this group are

aging hippies, environmentalists, Dean supporters types. Some are

more of survivalists, traditional conservatives, Pat Buchanan

types. What they have in common regarding their marriages is that

they are not trying to keep up with the Joneses so-to-speak, so

they have a lot less financial pressures on their marriages.

Many men in the socialist/Dean supporters part of this group are

also unfortunately complete pansies for the lack of a better word.

Their wives are "strong feminists" and have complete control of

their relationship, but the men are not necessary unhappy with

that, almost in a masochistic way. It's somewhat of a peculiar

situation to say the least. But this group is slowly dying. Almost

all young "liberal feminists" today end up becoming "modern western

women" with a big SUV and all that.

The conservatives and survivalists in this group often overlap with

rural and more religious people. Men in this group have a decent

chance of having a good marriage if they find the right woman. At

least men in this group are very unlikely to end up with a modern

western woman, so in a way they are lucky to avoid the most

cancerous (and the largest by far) group of women without even

trying.

4. Recent (mostly Hispanic) immigrants.

They were raised in more traditional cultures. You have to look

outside the US (and the west) if you want a wife from this culture.

There are not many single women immigrants in the US. Almost all

immigrants are single men or families.

If you are a normal American guy living in a large metropolitan area

marrying a normal college-educated American woman who is looking for

the American dream (a nice house, kids, good life), then realistically

you probably have over 95% chance of either getting divorced or

trapped in a miserable marriage.

6

Chapter 2

The main reason marriages to American women fail is because American

women have completely unrealistic expectations as to what they are

going to get out of marriage. When they don't get everything they

expect, they decide that men are not doing their jobs, and try to

trade up.

Typical American woman is raised to be extremely spoiled and selfcentered.

She is raised as a spoiled brat who has spent her entire

life either being completely catered to, or otherwise having her every

whim and want fulfilled in the moment. Not bad, but not effective

training in weathering problems that arise in every marriage.

When an American woman gets married and has children in her 30s, her

life inevitably changes for the worse. She now has a lot more

responsibilities and things to worry about. She is getting older and

less attractive. She is getting bored with her marriage. American

woman will always start resenting her "boring" married life and

consequently resenting her "boring" husband.

Other important contributing factors to why marriages fail are women’s

depression, psychological disorders, and Postpartum depression

(devastating mood disorder many women get after giving birth). 80% of

American mothers get at least "short term" form of Postpartum

depression. Symptoms of Postpartum depression read like the list of

things that are wrong with American women taken from my book and

website - anxiety, sadness, despair, feelings of worthlessness or

guilt, loss of interest in sex, difficulty concentrating, fatigue for

no reason, becoming fat, recurrent thoughts of death or suicide,

etc... See www.nomarriage.com/postpartum_depression.html for more

information.

Postpartum depression could be the main reason American women get

bored with their marriages. The percentage of women having Postpartum

depression is 80%, the same percentages of marriages where men either

get divorced or trapped.

Depression is basically a big gray area in medical science. Definition

of who is suffering from depression is subjective and arbitrary. I

simply do not see how a woman can have the above symptoms for a few

weeks after giving birth, and then become magically "normal" the

following week when all the underlying reasons for her depression are

still there and often get worse.

The reason American women get Postpartum depression is because a woman

starts realizing that the baby comes with added stress, time

commitments, responsibilities, financial responsibilities, etc... A

7

woman starts thinking that her previous care-free, responsibilityfree,

and stress-free life is over forever. Raising children today is

stressful, time-consuming, and costly the first few weeks, the first

few months, the first few years, and the next 15+ years.

American women are always told that they are perpetual victims, and

everything that is wrong with their lives is men's fault and never

their own fault. It is no wonder American women start blaming their

husbands, and making their husbands feel like they are responsible for

all the symptoms of her Postpartum depression. So American women

transition from seemingly "nice" women to sexless nagging bitches and

never look back.

Men go into a marriage with hardly any expectations:

"I'm 33, too old to meet girls in bars every weekend, and nothing

better is likely to come along. Besides, it will at least get Allison

to stop dropping hints about a ring...." He may actually find that the

occasional hot meal and regular affection is not so bad.

Women have ridiculously high expectations, dreams and plans:

"First we'll have a baby, it will be just SOO kee-yut, I mean Steve

would look so adorable as a daddy, then we'll have to buy a nice house

and an SUV for the baby, and I'll ask Steve to sell his motorcycle and

stop hanging out with Sid, I mean Sid was probably a lot of fun in

college, but he's a little strange and enough is enough..."

Which of the two, Steve or Allison, is being set up for

disappointment?

8

Chapter 3

The only "right" reason to get married is if you determined that YOU

want to raise children in the near future and you need to find a woman

who will make a good mother and wife.

Very few men get married for the right reason. Most American men get

married for the following 3 reasons, all of them wrong reasons:

1. Pressure from girlfriend to get married.

By far the most common reason. After a couple of years of dating most

women will start putting pressure on a guy to get married. Pressure

can range from open ultimatums (let's set up a wedding date or else I

am leaving) to subtle hints and everything in between. A guy starts

thinking that he'd better propose or she'll probably leave and he

eventually figures "what the hell, I am over 30 and she seems OK.

Might as well get married". A guy does not really want to get married

and does not want to have children at this time, but he goes ahead

with both because his girlfriend is pressuring him.

2. Pressure from society, parents, etc...

Society and parents still put a lot of pressure on men to get married,

"settle down", and have children by 30 or so. Society pressure and

girlfriend pressure often go hand-in-hand.

3. A woman gets pregnant, accidentally or maliciously.

Men will often marry a woman after she "accidentally" gets pregnant,

even though he does not really want to be married.

Here is how men usually get married:

1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.

2. Guy delays.

3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating

his friends.

4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something

better than what he has.

5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing

in the guy's life.

6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.

If you are marrying because of girlfriend or societal pressure, or

because a girl got pregnant, then you are not really doing what YOU

want to do with your life, but rather going with the flow and being a

TOOL to circumstances. Marriages that start out for the wrong reasons

are almost guaranteed to fail.

9

Chapter 4

You need to determine if YOU want children in the next few years. Do

not talk to your girlfriend when determining if you want children. You

need to determine if YOU want to spend the next 20 years of your life

being responsible for raising children.

There is an unspoken taboo in our society, where if you admit that

having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be, and that if you

could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have

kids, then you are an evil, despicable monster.

The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They

will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to

themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion,

they think.

Children literally turn your life upside down. Marriage, sex life,

your wife's appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and

on.

Forget dressing your daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with

your son. Think about being awaken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid

who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that

you have to get up for work in four hours.

Talk to every father you know (preferably people close to your age).

Ask them what it's really like to have children. Ask them what changes

they made to their lives after they had children. Ask them how much

time children take. Ask them how much effort and energy children take.

Ask them how stressful it really is to raise children. Ask them how

much children cost them. Do not ask them if they are glad they had

children. Nobody will admit to being unhappy even if they are.

Then determine if you want the next 20 years of your life to change

the way their lives changed. It should be a yes or no answer. Children

will change your life. You need to decide if you want these changes in

advance. And please make this decision by yourself. You'll be

responsible for your children, so the decision is entirely yours.

Don't overlook the financial aspect. One child today costs $300K-$600K

to raise. You will have to commit to earning at least $20K per year

per child for the next twenty years.

Let's break down the costs of raising just one child:

years.

10

let's say $300/month - $72,000 over 20 years.

about the biggest expense - education.

be $200,000 over 4 years.

Add all these numbers up, then decide if you want to take this

financial obligation at this time in your life.

Think of being a dad as a part-time 20-year long job that you can not

quit (that's exactly what it is). I am not saying it is a good job or

a bad job. It is just a part-time job that will completely change your

life for the next twenty years. Do you want this part-time 20-year

long job at this time in your life?

If you determined that you do not want children in the near future,

then you DO NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED now. It's that simple.

If you decided that you want children in the next few years, then you

need to find a woman who'll make a good wife and mother to your

children.

these men said they got married because they were ready to have

children, yet 70% of these men ended up having children. That means

that one out of three men had children without really wanting them.

This is not an anti-children book. Children are great if you want

them. But the reality of the life in the west is that having children

without wanting them is something you are likely to regret in the

future.

11

Chapter 5

You don't want children is the same as you don't want to get married.

The ONLY reason to get married is to have children and start a family.

You already decided that you don't want children for now, so you

surely don't want a wife either.

You don't want to get married means that you have to be very careful

about being in a serious relationship with an American woman. American

woman in a "serious" relationship will put pressure on you to get

married and start a family 2-3 years into the relationship (sometimes

much earlier). You'll be pressured to do what you don't really want to

do.

I would highly recommend that you just have sex and have casual

relationships with American women. The relationship should be over as

soon as she starts controlling you, nagging, or sex becomes boring.

Do yourself a favor and stick to these basic rules when dating

American women:

1. Do not move in with her. You NEED an option to easily get rid of

her at any time for any reason.

2. Do not accidentally have children with her.

3. Get rid of her as soon as she starts pressuring you into marriage,

nagging, bitching, controlling sex, controlling you, etc...

You should look for an alternative girlfriend while dating an American

woman. Never forget that your American girlfriend is only temporary.

Continue living your life as if you were single. It is very important

for two reasons. 1) You might meet a foreign girl who

will make a good long-term partner and with whom you can have a real

relationship. 2) You will start getting too used to your present

American girlfriend and she will start controlling you.

12

Chapter 6

You now need to find a woman who will make a good wife and a good

mother. It's better for your health, and the future health and safety

of your kids.

You have a responsibility to avoid women who will make bad wives. That

means, avoid all American-raised women. It's each guy's responsibility

to find a woman who will make a good mother and who is the best

possible choice for HIM, who will make HIM happy.

Carefully examine every woman you date and determine if she will make

a good wife as described in chapter 8. Do not marry her if she does

not satisfy ALL the requirements for a good wife. It does not matter

how attractive she is and how much you "love" her. Do not marry her if

she displays clear warning signs of a bad wife described in chapter 8.

Remember that marrying an average American woman means that at best

you will have a 5% chance of having a happy marriage (see chapter 1).

If you like these odds, go right ahead, just remember that your

marriage is almost guaranteed to end in either divorce or you getting

yourself trapped.

Foreign women from South America, Eastern Europe, and Asia will make

the best wives. Only guys who travel (in other words, guys who are

successful and ambitious enough to travel a lot) find these women. But

they never, ever go back.

The best way to meet foreign women is to spend time abroad. Another

option is to use Internet foreign dating services. I feel that

spending time abroad is the better of the two. The next chapter will

talk about it in greater length. But your odds of finding a good wife

using foreign dating services are still much greater than marrying

American woman.

13

Chapter 7

Every American man should try to spend at least one month a year in

Latin America, Eastern Europe, or Asia. In one month at either one of

these places you'll meet more beautiful and friendly women and have

more and better sex than you will for the rest of the year in the US.

Trust me on that. Once you spend a few months in Latin America,

Eastern Europe, or Asia, you will realize how ridiculously overpriced

and selfish American women really are. You will never consider

marrying American woman after that. Most guys can not stand even

dating American women after dating foreign women for a while.

If you don't think you can afford travelling a month or two a year, I

suggest you spend less money on dating American women. A month in

Latin America, Eastern Europe, or Asia will cost you around $1500 (or

less) plus airfare ($500-$700 round-trip from the US if you don't go

during the peak tourist season).

Here are some ways you can save money while dating American women:

attract women? It's costing you $6K+/year and does nothing but

attract high-maintenance bitches to you. Get rid of the new car and

buy a 10 year old Honda for under $5K. (I am not at all against

buying an expensive car if you can afford it and you want it for

yourself. What I am talking about are men who spend 1/4 of their

income on a car they can not afford hoping to impress dates).

$ thousands a year if you eat at moderately priced restaurants.

costing you $ thousands of dollars a year as well, and you are

actually getting laid less because of that.

birthday, etc. Don't ever pay for American women's shopping sprees

and trips (www.noMarriage.com/loser.html).

There is no reason to pay a lot more than $150 in major markets and

close to $100 in smaller markets. Prices abroad are even less and

the quality is much better.

14

who teases but does not have sex with you.

These suggestions could easily save you an additional $5-$15 thousand

a year. Save the money, then use your vacation or take some unpaid

time off work and head abroad.

interested in traveling and meeting local women abroad. Email me at

noMarriageSite@yahoo.com if you did not get SingleAbroad.com

for half price ($5 over 2 years instead of $10).

15

Chapter 8

It is very important to understand that things you are looking for in

a “cool” temporary girlfriend and a good wife and mother are

completely different things.

An irresponsible and selfish American woman makes a fun temporary

girlfriend, but she will make a horrible wife.

Carefully examine your girlfriend and do not marry her unless she

satisfies ALL the requirements for a good wife outlined in this

chapter.

Let’s look at the letter written by a husband married to a Brazilian

wife:

If your girlfriend ever says anything negative about you to anybody,

that’s a 100% guarantee that you are already not meeting her

expectations. After marriage that will result in her nagging and

bitching, and denying you sex.

16

Here are things American women usually complain about their

boyfriends:

friends, etc...

All these things indicate that your girlfriend is basically using you,

by putting her interests above your interests.

How do you find out if your girlfriend is telling her friends only

good things about you? Her friends will always be very nice to you. In

fact, they’ll be complimenting you and telling you things like “Your

girlfriend has been saying so many nice things about you" whenever you

meet them.

You are a man. If your girlfriend does not like men, she will end up

not liking you. In the US high schools and colleges teach women to

blame men for everything. It is drilled into them every hour of every

day, for years. The majority of American women end up not liking men

by the time they graduate from college. Liking someone is a basic

requirement for a successful marriage.

Furthermore, women raised by single mothers usually don’t like their

fathers, because their mothers were always telling them how “awful”

their fathers were (and yet these same mothers chose to have their

child with this “awful” man).

Their negative attitudes towards their father will evolve into

negative attitudes towards men in general and you in particular.

It’s pretty easy to figure out when a woman does not like men. Does

she ever say something like "men are pigs" or blames men for any of

her or society problems?

You’ve got your answer.

If you’re going to live with a woman, it is incredibly unpleasant, not

to mention unhealthy, to be with a woman who basically dislikes you as

a man, and whose underlying belief system is anti-male.

No matter how much she claims to "like men" you’ll find that it is a

thin veneer. In times of stress and danger, she will revert. At the

exact moment that you most need her trust, she will explode and attack

you. Is that the kind of life you want?

17

Also, there will arise a huge difference in your views. Because she is

starting with the assumption that men are jerks, when she makes even

the slightest effort to be nice to you, she will view this as a huge

concession on her part. She’ll think "wow, was I ever nice to him"

just because she was moderately pleasant one day.

Also, she’ll view ANY mistake on your part to be a HUGE OFFENSE.

You, on the other hand, will see her constant anti-male bias as a big

drain on you. It will be a constant irritation. When she does little

nice things for you, you’ll view them as nowhere near enough to

compensate for the constant underlying hostility. At the same time,

when you make minor mistakes...which you will expect to be forgiven

for immediately...you will be shocked by her overboard anger.

She will constantly be on your case. Every good thing you do will

barely be acknowledged. Every bad thing you do, no matter how

insignificant, will be a reason for a total blowup to her. She will

make some minor little friendly gestures, and then get all selfrighteous

when you do not kiss her feet in gratitude.

Sex is usually the best for a few months after you first meet a woman,

and goes downhill from there.

A woman that uses sex as a weapon is:

1. manipulative

2. has no respect for you as a man

3. thinks she is doing you a favor when having sex

Most American women view sex as a reward they give men. That will lead

to less frequent sex and no sex soon after you get married.

Never marry a woman who is sexually demanding in terms of your

performance, who withholds sex on a regular basis on the grounds of

headache or disinclination, or thinks she has a "right" to anything in

particular sexually -- who, for example, will refuse you sex or make

you keep doing things in bed on the grounds that you didn’t get her

off the last time.

You are going to get older and fatter and her libido is going to go

off a cliff as she gets older and has kids. If she is even slightly

hard to deal with sexually now (in terms of giving it up, or in terms

of demanding things from you now) she is going to be IMPOSSIBLE to

deal with five years after marriage. You WILL have a sexless marriage.

18

Cooking, cleaning, mothering, wants kids, loves kids, loyal,

trustworthy.

It does not matter if she will not be doing much cooking or cleaning

after marriage.

What is important is that the wife does not have a negative attitude

towards doing these things. Any trace of snobbery at doing traditional

female tasks is a very bad sign of a princess.

The two most common personality disorders American women have are

Histrionic and Narcissistic disorders.

Histrionic disorder: manipulative, attention seekers, dominate the

conversation, use grandiose language, seek constant praise, dress

provocatively, exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention,

exaggerate friendships and relationships, believe that everyone loves

them.

Narcissistic disorder: self-centered, seek attention and praise, take

advantage of people, fantasize about success and power, expect

favorable treatment, exaggerate achievements, have difficulty

maintaining long-lasting relationships, expect others to recognize

them as being superior.

Many American women also have Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive, and

Borderline disorders. Www.noMarriage.com website has links to

additional information about personality disorders.

A woman with personality disorder(s) will make your life a living hell

in no time.

This is a huge red flag that all but guarantees a miserable marriage,

and yet very few men pay any attention to it. Any sign of her

snootiness and superiority means that she has a “princess” syndrome.

Watch for any signs of superficial and stuck up attitude your

girlfriend might have. It does not matter what she feels superior

about. In time she will have this attitude towards you. She will

always be putting her interests above yours and she’ll start

controlling you and play mental games with you.

19

Does your girlfriend regularly shop for expensive shoes and purses?

She is probably financially irresponsible.

A great way to determine how good she is with money is her attitude

towards engagement rings and wedding ceremonies. You don’t have to

plan your own, just talk about the subject in general. Say something

like: "This wedding your friends are planning sure is expensive.

Wouldn’t it be smarter to spend the $20K on a down-payment on a

house?" If her attitude is that the wedding is more important, then

it’s a sure indicator that she is selfish and stupid with money.

If you end up buying her engagement ring, buy a very inexpensive one,

and tell her you are saving the money to buy a house. Then find out if

she told her friends that you bought her a cheap engagement ring.

Get a credit check on her and find out if she has credit card debt or

any negative points in her credit record. Financially irresponsible

woman will always overspend. After you are married you’ll be slaving

away for the rest of your life to support your wife’s ever increasing

wants.

US high schools and colleges also teach women that they always have to

prove themselves since they are women. That mentality will lead to

constant confrontations and resentment after you get married. Imagine

coming home every day after work and your wife wants to prove to you

she is right whenever you have any minor disagreement or even

discussion. And if you disagree, she will continue trying to prove

that she is right even if it obvious that she is wrong.

You will never win any arguments, because she is more interested in

proving to you that she is always right, than in solving a

disagreement in good faith. You will always end up reluctantly

agreeing with her, and start building resentment towards her.

No woman with strong feminist leanings will EVER be happy with the

breakdown of tasks in the household. She will ALWAYS be preoccupied

with fairness and feel that she is always being taken advantage of.

It’s your responsibility to find a woman who is the best possible

choice for YOU. She has to like you the way you are. You like to watch

football, she should never ask you not to watch football; you like to

20

go out with friends, she should never ask you not to. She should never

complain about your appearance, or even care too much about it.

If your girlfriend is controlling, it will always get much worse after

marriage. She will try to take complete control of what you do and

will make your life miserable.

Laying guilt and playing mind games is very common with American

women.

American women are, for the most part, not well suited to accept

reality or to think logically. They will approach a situation with

their mind already made up. Then they will twist and manipulate the

information to validate what they’re already thinking.

So their views on reality are usually messed up. And their process for

arguing/interacting is not based on reality. Instead it’s based on

whatever irrational tools will help them prove their point (screaming,

personal attacks, red herrings, etc).

The key is to marry a woman who isn’t going to be SO MUCH DAMNED WORK.

It’s like swimming. Yes, I like to swim and I’m a good swimmer. Does

that mean that I’ll choose to jump in a fast-moving river and try to

swim upstream? Hell no. That’s just unpleasant. I’d rather pick a nice

calm body of water to swim in.

Same with women. Don’t marry a woman who is going to be a huge pain in

the ass, constant work, and constantly swimming upstream. Don’t marry

a woman who will make it harder than it has to be.

Pick a woman to marry who will be a GOOD WIFE and who KNOWS HOW to be

a happy, successful wife, and who KNOWS HOW to help you be a better

husband. Pick a woman from a culture that encourages this.

In other words, DON’T marry an American woman. They are much, much

harder to be married to, simply because they have been trained to NOT

make any effort to be good wives.

They have been trained to focus exclusively on their own needs, and to

completely ignore yours. They have been trained in a thousand

techniques for making it all "your fault". Not fun. Being married is

damned near impossible anyway. No need to make it harder.

21

Chapter 9

The first thing you need to do is to fully accept it. Take your time

and let it sink in. It’s a very difficult thing to accept,

particularly if you were planning on marrying your girlfriend and

spending your life with her. Furthermore, your relationship with

your girlfriend is probably pretty good at the moment, so you don’t

see how things will turn for the worse after marriage. You need to

understand that the girl you are dating is not a real her. She is just

acting in her dating phase; she is essentially selling herself to you.

Your married life will eventually become completely miserable if your

girlfriend does not fit all the requirements for a good wife outlined

in the previous chapter. Marrying her will ultimately lead to one of

the three outcomes:

1. Losing everything you earned while you were married and probably

more.

2. Miserable life of a married trapped husband who would love nothing

better than for his wife to go away.

3. You become a pussy/sucker (see next chapter) whose only purpose in

life is to bring home a fat paycheck.

If you determined that your girlfriend will not make a good wife and

your relationship is serious (she is hinting about marriage and/or

children), then you have to get rid of her. Just do it. Don’t worry

about her feelings or anybody else’s feeling. You only have one life

and you have to worry about the best way to live YOUR life, not the

best way to service your girlfriend. Whatever you do, do not move in

with her and do not have children with her.

Remember, your health, and the future health and safety of your kids

are at stake. You have a responsibility to avoid marrying women who

will make bad wives.

22

Chapter 10

Let’s first define a sucker and a fucker.

Sucker - also known as provider, also known as husband – docile

schmuck who pays American woman’s bills and does not pester her for

sex.

Fucker - a person American woman actually enjoys having sex with.

A fucker and provider can never be the same person. Fucker has to be

unpredictable, interesting and exciting. A sucker has to be secure,

dependable, and consequently boring. Never, ever forget that. American

women do not enjoy having sex with suckers.

Until they are in their late 20s, American women are not really

interested in settling down and spend most of their time with fuckers

and temporary suckers (men who take them out on expensive dates but

never get laid).

American women literally separate men they meet into potential suckers

and fuckers right after they meet them.

When American woman gets to about 28 she starts fraudulently selling

sex, her looks, and her personality, so she can land a permanent

sucker (husband).

We have all met these women in their late 20s and 30s who say they now

want to “settle down” and find a “good” husband. Those are the women

you want to avoid the most. Let’s look at a typical woman like that.

She majors in Liberal Arts where she basically spends four years

learning how to hate men (College professors and college courses are

openly anti-male). She then moves to a big city, gets a job, and moves

in with a female roommate who is even a bigger bitch than she is.

She spends the next 5-10 years going out on dates and practicing using

sex to get things from men, watching Friends and other similar shows

where every female character is a high-maintenance bitch, and bitching

with her friends that she deserves better and all men are jerks.

In her late 20s she realizes that she probably wants a house and

children after all. She starts to get increasingly desperate to find a

secure sucker whom she expects to work overtime for the next 30 years

so she can live in a big house, have children, and have an option of

working part-time or not working at all. All that can only be possible

if her husband works overtime.

23

Her expectations are now completely out of control and she thinks she

deserves her husband to be the combination of all the best qualities

of all her dates and Friends characters. She was completely

brainwashed and trained to be anti-men and to always be

confrontational. Years of being single made her mentally unstable and

psychotic. She has spent the last 15+ years practicing using sex to

get things from men.

1. Sex before marriage.

American woman is not interested in sex with a sucker, but she

pretends that she is until she is married. A woman might even pretend

she likes giving him blowjobs until after the wedding day. American

woman simply uses sex as bait (either consciously or unconsciously),

and having landed the fish, no longer sees the need to bait the hook.

2. Appearance before marriage.

Appearance is the most rapidly deteriorating asset a woman has. It

starts deteriorating in mid twenties and is usually completely gone in

her thirties. A single woman looking for a sucker puts a lot of effort

in enhancing her appearance. She will go to a gym and try to stay fit,

she will dress sexy, wear push-up bras, have nice long hair, etc…

3. Personality before marriage.

Single American woman looking for a sucker will go to great lengths to

come across as “nice” and “caring”. She might even make an effort to

show you that she is interested in you. She will usually refrain from

too much bitching and nagging until she has her ring and you are

trapped.

An American woman basically puts up a "pre-marital dog & pony show" to

impress you. She wants to land a stable and secure sucker so she can

have her nice house and kids.

After American woman gets married, she no longer has any incentive to

have sex, look nice, and act nice.

1. Sex after marriage.

Forget it. Sex with a sucker is boring and unexciting. It does not

matter how much romance you put into your relationship. The simple

truth is that American woman is bored after a few years of marriage,

and there is nothing you can do about it. The situation is completely

pathetic. Five years into her marriage, American woman would rather

have sex with anyone but her husband. Expect girls’ nights out and

24

girls’ trips to Vegas and Mexico, where she’ll be banging strangers

(married women now cheat as much as men. See statistics on

www.noMarriage.com website).

It is all but accepted by society that sex is not an important part of

marriage, and the husband is not entitled to as much sex as he wants.

If sex is important to you, then you should re-evaluate if this

conventional view that you are not entitled to sex after marriage is

acceptable to you.

Foreign women have better sex lives after marriage because they

generally do not use sex as a weapon, plus they have a lot less hangups

about sex to start out with. American women are raised to always

use sex as a reward for something they get, which is essentially the

same as being a prostitute.

Www.nomarriage.com/marriedsex.html webpage has lots of quotes from

married American men living sexless lives.

2 Appearance after marriage.

After he is married, a sucker will quickly find out that his wife

never really liked gyms and exercise. One day he comes home from a

long day at work, and he sees this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants

sitting on a sofa, sucking bonbons and watching Oprah. Dresses -

forget it, sweatpants are more comfortable. Hair gets cut since long

hair is now “too much effort” to maintain.

3. Personality after marriage.

American woman already has a sucker, so she is now free to become the

nagging bitch she was raised to be. She is always bored with her

married life and tired of responsibilities that come with being

married, and she no longer has any reason to hide it. Expect nagging,

bitching and confrontations over small things to become daily

occurrences until the life of a sucker is one continuing nag and

bitchfest.

You see, once American woman has her house and children, she doesn’t

need you any more, except as a meal ticket.

Ask your married friends with children how their wives changed after

marriage. Most will eventually admit that their sex lives are now nonexistent,

and their wives became nagging bitches who lost all

femininity and no longer even resemble women.

25

Chapter 11

Modern American woman wants all the benefits of "equality" without any

of the responsibilities that come with equality.

American women want special privileges from the traditional system

(men paying, being "gentlemen" by using special deferential manners

and language to women, being the main breadwinner, etc) but not the

old-fashioned obligations (being modest and ladylike, being a

housewife, etc).

They want the positives of equality (rights, equal access to work and

education, etc) without the responsibilities (paying your own way

financially a full 50% for life, taking risks with no safety net, and

taking your lumps without complaint like men do...not expecting to be

protected or sheltered from harsh reality, etc).

You can’t take only the good from both systems...you have to take the

bad with the good in any balance you strike. When American women try

to have their cake and eat it in this way, the bad doesn’t

disappear...it gets paid by men, and this is why the current culture

is one of exploitation by selfish hypocritical American women.

The current American culture discourages women being looked at

critically, instead projecting all blame unjustly onto men; and so the

inequity is rationalized away.

This is why other cultures which haven’t got this screwed up as far as

gender relations go, start to look very attractive. The women there

expect to give as well as get.

Www.nomarriage.com/50s.html has the article called "The good wife’s

guide" from 1955 issue of Housekeeping monthly. Check out the article.

It looks almost laughable today. But it’s no laughing matter. That’s

what women were expected to do to make marriage fair and balanced.

26

Chapter 12

It cannot succeed.

They don’t like it, because it shows in plain black and white how

hypocritical and selfish American women are as a group, and how they

are taking advantage of men, children, and all of society in order to

satisfy their emotional whims.

Never, ever expect any American woman, of any age, to discuss these

issues honestly. They won’t answer you honestly, they won’t "admit"

the truth, and they won’t stop spinning the truth.

They are purely, completely selfish. Their entire thought process –

their "world view" is completely selfish. They are utterly brainwashed

by feminism to consider themselves "innocent" and men "guilty" at ALL

times no matter what reality is. It doesn’t matter how wildly unfair

the situation. Somehow, American women will keep making everything

"men’s fault".

Even the very few American women who are able to think independently

about this, and who want to understand your feelings (let’s say you’re

talking to a woman who is a close friend and respects you) are largely

a waste of time. They will talk and talk and talk with you. They will

sympathize and intellectualize. But in the end, you’ll find that there

was no real conclusion. They talked so much, they managed to evade the

point.

Here is a list of "bullshit evasion tactics" that American women

ALWAYS use in these arguments:

1. The Knee-jerk Insult.

"You’re just an asshole. I’m not even going to discuss that" (Why,

because I’m saying something you don’t want to think about? Yeah.)

2. The Standard Feminist Attack.

"You’re just a woman hater" (Anybody who criticized the behavior of

women is a woman-hater. Of course, anybody who criticized men’s

behavior is...a good citizen).

3. The Manhood Insult.

"You probably never get laid" (When she was a girl, she could always

manipulate men by insulting their manhood. Why not try it again...).

4. The Sly implication that you’re a loser.

"Wow, you need a girlfriend!" "What’s the matter, still mad at mommy?"

(Much easier to attack the other person than to actually discuss the

issue)

27

5. The Big Distraction...Ignore Point and Attack Men on Completely

Unrelated Issue.

(This is a favorite of feminists. If you make a criticism of women,

they just pop out some completely unrelated and disconnected sideattack

against men. Like you say "why do women use Divorce to screw

over men?" and she says "Men earn 10% higher salaries in the Coal

Mining industry!" If you say "pay attention, talk to me about Divorce

Laws!!" she says "Did you know that in Honduras it’s still legal for

men to beat their wives?")

Their goal is to evade your point and/or derail the argument, any way

possible.

I found that by far the best way to discuss relationships with western

women is to say something like: “I wish I could grow and have a

meaningful relationship with a strong woman like you, but

unfortunately I keep falling in love with foreign women. I just can’t

help myself.”

Then use the following suggestions after her replies:

after a few weeks. And you know how it is to be in a loveless

relationship.

her fault.

If you want to be more serious, there is a very simple way to address

western/foreign women issue. Non-western women were raised in a manner

that keeping their husbands happy is one of the main goals in their

lives. Western women were raised in exactly the opposite manner. Any

sane man would choose a woman who is going to treat him better, so

choosing a non-western woman is the obvious default decision.

A western woman has to explain why you should choose her over a nonwestern

woman. If she can not do that (which she can not obviously),

then what she thinks and what she wants is irrelevant to you. You do

not need to explain or prove anything to her because she offers

nothing you want.

Western women ranting about foreign women is nothing more than a

nuisance; think of them as homeless women heckling because a Lexus is

an ugly color.

28

Chapter 13

In the 1950s a working man could support a stay-at-home wife and

children with one income. Today it is all but impossible. The main

reason for it is because the cost of housing and the cost of having

children essentially doubled (adjusted for inflation) when women

started working. Housing and children used to take one income, now

they take two incomes. That creates an extremely stressful and

difficult situation for married men because women will often choose to

work part-time or not work at all after having children. So men now

have to work double to compensate for their wives working less.

What makes things even worse is that women initiate the biggest costs

in marriage, but men are responsible for paying for them even thought

men did not want those things. Women usually want a big house and

expensive home improvements. Women also want to have children early

(often because of the biological clock). The big house and children

happen do be the two biggest costs in marriage. Nothing else even

comes close. A sports car a husband wants costs less than a small

bathroom addition.

That makes marriage extremely unattractive for men for economic

reasons.

Today’s women have equality and should pay for what they want without

expecting to be subsidized by men.

A woman wants a big house. She should pay for the house herself. Her

husband would probably be perfectly happy living in a two-bedroom

apartment. Why should he be responsible for doubling or tripling his

mortgage payment when his wife is the one who wants the house.

A woman wants a $25,000 Corian countertop. She should be responsible

for paying all of the $25,000. Why should her husband be responsible

for paying even half of the $25,000 if he does not want a new

countertop to begin with.

A woman wants to have children because of her biological clock. She

should pay for raising them herself. 30-year-old men do not want

children. Why are they expected to be financially responsible for

children they did not want to have.

on how more and more career women quit workforce after having

children. They interviewed a researcher who called couples from 1996

NY Times marriage announcements where both husband and wife had highpowered

jobs; and she found out that 85% of these women no longer work

8 years later. They also interviewed the dean of Harvard business

29

schools who said that only 40% of female Harvard MBA graduates work in

their child-raising years. The dean then said some nonsense about how

companies ought to hold jobs opened for women for 10 years.

This trend is very relevant to you, particularly if you make average

(as opposed to way above average) salary. What it means is that there

is a very high probability that, regardless of what your GF is saying

now, she will not be working after having children. And since the

costs of buying a house and raising children now require two full-time

incomes, you will probably have a very hard time (see chapter on

stress below) providing for your wife and children on one salary.

30

Chapter 14

Three things are always emphasized whenever marriage is discussed

today:

1. Men’s responsibilities.

2. Women’s entitlements and women’s best interests.

3. Children’s entitlements and children’s best interests.

Two things are noticeably missing from every discussion – women’s

responsibilities and men’s best interests and entitlements. And they

are missing for a very good reason - because they do not exist.

American women today do not have responsibilities, and American men

today do not have their own best interests. Pay attention to that when

you read articles about marriage in newspapers and magazines; not one

of them will mention women’s responsibilities or men’s best interests.

Articles about marriage usually try to sell marriage to men using a

couple of bogus reasons:

1. Married men live "longer". It used to be somewhat true because

married men lived sheltered lives. But it is no longer even true.

Married men today still live boring and sheltered lives, but they are

also constantly stresses from working 60-hour weeks and never-ending

bitching at home. So men marrying today will live shorter lives (see

next chapter).

2. Married men earn more in their lifetimes. That is true, but only

because married men are forced to work 60-hour weeks to support their

spoiled wives and children, while single men can take it easy, work

less, and actually enjoy life rather than living the constant

work/bitch-wife drudgery.

The last point actually goes to the very core of why government

supports marriage - married men slaving away at their jobs will pay

more in taxes, and married men will finance women's consumption and

raising children.

Marriage today is basically a transfer of wealth from men to women

(that is the REAL reason women want marriage). A typical marriage ->

children -> divorce scenario results in about $200,000-$300,000 in

wealth transfer from a man to his ex-wife. Marriage will last for

about 5-7 years. A man will typically lose everything he earned in

these 5-7 years in divorce. And the man will then be stuck paying

child support for the next 18 years (most of which his ex-wife will

spend on herself rather than children). Marriages that do not end in

divorce will result in even more transfer of wealth from men to women

since men will be spending most of their paycheck on women for the

rest of their lives.

31

So forget about your so-called “responsibilities” and focus on your

best interests.

Chapter 15

Women like to say that married men live longer and happier lives. That

of course is complete nonsense because this statistic looks at men who

die today (men born 70-80 years ago) and projects result on men who

marry today (men born 30 years ago).

Men born in the 1920s and 1930s married around 1950s. Back then only

drunks, drug addicts, and criminals were not marrying and starting a

family in their 20s or early 30s. So of course married men would

appear to live longer when compared to drunks, drug addicts, and

criminals who usually die young.

So married men in the past did not live longer and happier lives

because they got married. They lived longer and happier lives because

they had their act together in the first place.

Also, women back then did not have demanding and nagging attitudes

they have today. So married men back then did not have stressful

miserable lives married men have today.

Today things are completely reversed. Married men today are stressed

more than ever. And stress always leads to health problems and

premature deaths.

I recently read an interesting research report about how lawyers are

two to three times more likely to become alcoholics and drug addicts

because they are always stressed and unhappy. The same applies to

married men. How many married men today are happy and not always

stressed? Not too many.

Let’s look at stress married men are exposed to in further detail. Not

many men think about it before marriage, but they really should.

Commute stress

There were recently several research reports on the very

underestimated negative health effects of car or train commute. The

main reason men have long commutes is because their wives wanted to

buy a big house in a good school district that is far from men’s jobs.

Here are some results of the commute stress research by Dr David Lewis

(a psychologist and author of several books on stress) and Dr Karol

32

Watson (of the Centre for Cholesterol and Hypertension Management at

UCLA):

fighter pilot in combat, or a police officer in a riot.

leading to a condition they identified as “commuter amnesia”.

and running late raised blood pressure by nearly 75 per cent.

beats per minute. However, as they battled to and from work, the

volunteers' heartbeats reached peaks of more than double that -

comparable with the rate during strenuous exercise. Dr Lewis said:

"Getting to this rate during physical exercise is good but commuters

get this from purely psychological reasons and it puts them at risk

of serious heart problems."

commuter can induce intense feelings of pressure, fast pulse rates

and high blood pressure.

makes them more vulnerable to disease. Stress appeared to have a

major impact at a cellular level — dramatically affecting molecules

that are believed to play a key role in cell aging.

Job stress

Married men with families to support HAVE to work. They are likely to

work longer hours than single men because they need to earn more money

in the first place. Working longer hours in itself is more stressful.

Beyond that, employers know that they can delegate married men more

things to the point of overworking them and married men are less

likely to complain. With a single man there is always a risk he may

just say “screw it” and walk away if he is not happy with his work.

Married men don’t usually have the option of walking away, they have a

mortgage and children to pay for.

Another related aspect of working stress married men have is the

ongoing realization that they HAVE to continue working the jobs even

if they don’t like them for years or decades to come. It’s basically

the realization that they are not really in control of their lives. A

single man who does not like his job usually has options to quit/do

something else/move. Married men don’t have this flexibility and often

find themselves in a lose/lose situation. They are screwed if they

stop working the job they don’t like, and screwed if they continue.

33

This ongoing realization that they are trapped for the next 20 years

can be very stressful and lead to serious health problems.

Family stress

Married men's family stress is caused by frequent nagging by wives and

the overall negative and non-supportive attitude majority of married

men are exposed to throughout their lives. Modern western woman often

takes pride in not supporting her husband and contributing to his

emotional stress. A lot of married men find themselves in a situation

where they hate going to work and hate going home.

Stress at home and overworked work schedule also contribute to men's

poor eating habits, becoming overweight, and becoming addicted to

alcohol and drugs. Being overweight and substance abuse then in turn

further contribute to men's health problems, creating somewhat of a

negative self-reinforcing cycle.

Men who are not married and do not to have children to support have no

real reasons to be stressed. They never have to deal with nagging

wives. They don’t have to worry about making mortgage payments on a

huge house their wives made them buy. They don’t have a responsibility

of paying for children they did not want. They can live within a short

commute from their jobs. They don’t even have to worry about keeping a

steady job. A single guy can always start a part-time business that

will eventually make him a nice living. It might take a few years, but

it’s pretty easy to do if you don’t have a nagging wife who DEMANDS

that you always have a secure job and bring home a fat paycheck every

two weeks.

Take a look at how married and single men in their mid 30s look. A lot

of single men look like they are 25. A lot of married men look like

they are 45. What ages their appearance is stress.

I will make a conservative prediction and say that men who marry today

will die at least 5 years younger from stress and stress-related

problems than men who’ll stay single.

34

Chapter 16

This is a very important issue and something I am currently looking at

closer. It is clear that almost all western women have serious

psychological/mental problems and are generally unhappy. Non-western

women however rarely have these problems, so western women must

acquire these problems because of the way they are raised and brought

up.

USA today (on 2/15/2005) had an interesting article about the selfesteem

bubble American girls are raised with. The self-esteem bubble

may help partially explain why western women end up mentally screwed

up and damaged goods as potential wives.

The article talks about how schools and parents constantly boost

girls’ self-esteem and make girls feel good about themselves. For the

first 20+ years of their lives western girls are always told how

wonderful they are even though they may be completely worthless. The

end result is that women are raised with a very inflated sense of self

and inflated sense of entitlement and expectations.

Later in life the inflated sense of self comes in conflict with

reality and women break down psychologically. Women find themselves in

various "put up or shut up" type situation and they can not produce.

So women's sense of entitlement, high expectations, and their sense of

what they were always told they deserve come in conflict with reality.

Woman's lives end up not going as well as their inflated expectations;

and that leads to depression and the long list of other serious

psychological problems.

If biologically women were designed to raise children, then they were

not designed for a career, any kind of competitive environment, or

"succeeding" in general. It does not mean that women can not succeed

in a career, but it means that they are not happy while doing it. Yet

all western girls today are raised to aspire to succeed, regardless of

whether it will make them happy or not.

Non-western women are raised without “success” expectations or even

inspirations. Their main inspiration is often to be a “good wife”, so

it makes perfect sense that non-western women end up a lot more happy

and mentally stable.

35

Chapter 17

I had an interesting feedback from one reader. The following are his

quotes:

things I want a female company for.

too much but I just don't want anyone around.

legally or financially. There's no right woman as far as I'm

concerned.

they leave when I want to be alone.

cohabitate.

I think it's a very interesting way to look at things. If you mostly

agree with the quotes above, then marriage or living with a woman may

not be for you at all.

This brings up an interesting theory I have that may partially explain

why marriages used to work, but no longer seem to work. In the past

people married earlier in life, usually men and women (particularly

women) did not live alone before getting married. So people did not

have a reference point on how it was to live alone.

What we have now is people getting married after they had lived alone

for years and possibly prefer living alone. Once the initial

"excitement” of living together wears off, both people start comparing

their current lives with their previous single lives. Their previous

single lives were usually a lot more fun, responsibility-free, and

stress-free; so it makes perfect sense that people separate and go

back to being single.

Obviously not everyone living alone prefers it. Many, perhaps most

people living alone would probably prefer to live with a partner. But

you may just be one of those people who is simply better off living

alone and for whom living with a woman would be a burden.

(marriage.rutgers.edu) found that the older the man gets, the less

likely he is to get married. The men they studied were between 25 and

34 years old. 22% of men in their study group thought that marriage

was not for them. However, if you only take 30-34 year old men from

this group, then the percentage of those not interested in getting

married anytime soon goes up to 54%, and 68% of the 30-34 year old men

say that at this stage in life they want fun and freedom.

36

Chapter 18

“Monogamy is only due to a man’s failure in business”. It sounds very

cynical, but there is a deep meaning behind it, and it does not even

matter what your opinion on monogamy is.

I polled American women on this issue and the results were startling.

I first asked women: “Do you think monogamy, marriage, and commitment

is in the best interest of an average man?” Almost 100% of women

replied “Yes”.

I then asked the same women: “Do you think monogamy, marriage, and

commitment is in the best interests of famous athletes and

entertainers?” The majority of the same women now replied “No”. The

reasons they gave were:

Let’s think how ridiculously hypocritical this is. What women are

saying is that guys who are poor and don’t have much going for them

should get married and have committed relationships. And guys who have

money and can easily attract women should play the field and not be

monogamous. So what does marriage become then – institution best

suited for men who are not successful in life?

37

Chapter 19

Recent research by Satoshi Kanazawa (psychologist at the University of

Canterbury, New Zealand) indicates that marriage causes men’s mind to

literally rot.

Satoshi Kanazawa studied biographies of 280 great scientists and

identified a clear relationship between men’s scientific achievement

and marriage. He found that the great scientists stopped producing

scientific breakthroughs virtually overnight after they got married.

He also found that men who did not get married continued producing

significant scientific contributions well into their 30s and 40s.

Marriage has the same dampening effect on geniuses in music, painting,

writing, and all other fields.

If marriage has this effect on great scientists, then think of how

much damage it does to the brain of an average guy like you and me?

Women are creativity killers. You do anything that’s even slightly out

of the ordinary and you get an hour-long bitchfest about how "you need

to grow up" and "why can’t you be like normal people".

Marriage becomes a funeral to your dreams and inspirations. It sucks

the life out of you. Wife’s constant babbling, questions, nagging,

bitching, put-downs, criticism, etc turn men’s brain into a compliant

blob of mush. At first, the mind is vigilant, but just as the old

saying goes, "It only takes time to break down the mind". As a result,

after marriage men will often change from curious and ambitious

individuals to boring, do-nothing, brainless, energy-zapped zombies.

38

Chapter 20

You need to realize that you are much better off financially than your

married and divorced co-workers.

Most of your married co-workers spend 75%-95% of their income on their

spoiled wives and kids.

Your divorced co-workers with child support spend about 25%-30% of

their pre-tax pay (often well over 50% of after-tax pay) on child

support. They probably also got completely wiped out financially

during their divorce, effectively losing 5-15 years worth of

everything they earned.

That means that majority of your male co-workers survive on a fraction

of their income. As a single childless person you have very little

excuse for not saving and investing a large percentage of your income.

You should save and invest at least half of your income if you make

really good money. You need to seriously re-evaluate your lifestyle if

you live paycheck to paycheck. You probably either have some costly

addictions you need to overcome or you spend way too much money on

dating women. Chapter 7 has some good suggestions on how you can save

money while dating American women.

If you make pretty good money and don’t have to pay for children and a

house in a good school district, then you may be able retire within 15

years or semi-retire (where you work around 20 hours a week and take a

few months off a year) within 10 years.

A very smart thing to do is to buy a house or an apartment and get one

or several roommates to pay most of the mortgage. That way your

monthly payment can actually be less than what you are currently

paying to rent. (That is currently hard to do in areas like Boston,

NYC, DC, LA, SF, etc. Housing prices there are a little out of control

and renting there is currently cheaper than buying. But this situation

will likely soon correct itself with housing prices in these areas

declining to align with rents). Get a good price on a house near

college campus that needs a few hundred hours of work and fix it up

yourself. You can also convert the basement into a stand-along

apartment for rent. You should be able to pay the house off within 10-

15 years and then you will no longer have house payments or rent to

worry about.

You should also consider starting your own business, particularly if

you are working at a dead-end office job. There are many businesses

you can start with mostly your spare time and very little money while

you are still employed. Go to a bookstore and start reading books that

describe different business you can start.

39

Your own business will eventually give you flexibility to work your

own hours and take a lot of time off to travel. Most people who have

done very well financially own their own businesses.

If you are having problems saving money, then you may want to try my

recent invention – “marriage role-play shock therapy” ™. It is very

simple, it will help you save money, and it will prepare you for the

future marriage. It works like that - you take every paycheck from now

on, you put half of it in a jar, and you forget about it. Every time

you think you are short on money, you take an additional $100 and put

it in a jar as a penalty for complaining. Pretty soon you will have

plenty of money saved up and you will be ready for marriage.

40

Chapter 21

Be very careful when you move together with your girlfriend. In some

geographic locations living together for a certain amount of time

becomes a common-law marriage (which means that you and your

girlfriend are basically married). I am against living with women

because it is simply not worth it. The benefits do not outweigh the

loss of freedom in my opinion. But if you decide to move in with your

girlfriend, then at least learn about common-law marriage laws in your

area and make sure you do not get stuck in one.

Some things to do to avoid being stuck in common-law marriage:

areas even less). Find out exactly how many years or months you have

to live with the same woman to be in a common law marriage in your

area.

cards.

rent as a roommate.

See an attorney if you own a house and your girlfriend wants to move

in. You will be VERY pissed if in a few years she will be in a legal

position to kick you out of your own house.

Be very careful with single mothers. You might get stuck paying child

support for the next 15 years if you are proven to have formed a

"bond" with her children. Taking children once a week to a ballpark

for a couple of months will probably constitute forming a bond. Do not

pay for children. Financially supporting children will certainly

constitute forming a bond. If you do pay, just give your girlfriend

cash and let her pay. That way there will at least be no record of you

paying for children.

41

Chapter 22

Before you get married you absolutely HAVE TO sit down with your

girlfriend and have a long and non-romantic conversation (or several

long and non-romantic conversations). The purpose of this conversation

is to determine two things:

1. Agree on children

2. Agree on money

Your answers and your girlfriend’s answers should be specific, not

vague. And if your answers don't match, then you're not ready for

marriage.

1. Agree if you both want children, and, if so, when and how many. If

you can not agree on that, then don't get married. Also, talk about

who will be responsible for what when it comes to raising children.

That's not the issue either one of you should compromise on. As you

already know, I am very much against marriage unless you want

children, but, regardless of what you end up doing, at least agree on

children before you get married.

2. Talk about money. Who will earn it. What kind of lifestyle you both

want. What kind of house you both want. Who will be spending money.

What will the money be spent on. Disagreements about money are the

main reason marriages start having problems. The more on the same page

you are about money, the better your chances of a good marriage.

Keep in mind that your girlfriend may not be 100% honest with you

about money before you get married. She is not likely to tell you that

she wants you to make a lot of money so she can spend a lot of money.

So use your best judgement when you have this conversation and make

sure what she says agrees with what she does. If she tells you that

buying lots of expensive shoes will not be important to her, yet you

know she goes to a mall every week, then she is probably lying.

Hire an attorney and write a good pre-nup. Your girlfriend obviously

must be willing to sign one.

Document the assets you have before marriage and the value of these

assets (that's particularly important if you own a house). Keep these

assets separate from the assets you acquire together during your

marriage.

After marriage you should have your money, her money, and both of your

money (in three different accounts). You should agree on how you will

structure that before you get married.

42

Chapter 23

Mainstream marriage/relationships advice is garbage.

Mainstream marriage/relationships advice assigns men all the

responsibility and gives women all the entitlements. It tells man to

work long hours, provide good income, split responsibility with his

wife at home and with children, and shower his wife with love and

affection. Woman on the other hand has to do nothing, and nothing is

her fault. Mainstream marriage advice basically says that a man is a

slave who has to sacrifice his life for the good of his spoiled wife

and kids.

Shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil are in business of making fat, selfcentered

American women feel good about themselves. With hubby’s

credit card in one hand and a box of bon-bons in the other, they are a

great demographic to cater to.

Here is a typical show:

Audience/Host: You're not romantic enough.

Audience/Host: Your wife is tired from job/kids, etc.

Audience/Host: Go to counseling.

Audience/Host: Marriage is about more than sex.

Audience/Host: Don't be so selfish.

Absolutely and categorically NO. American woman has several

fundamental problems that will never go away and will actually get

worse a few years after she is married:

1) Her self-centeredness, her ridiculously high expectations, her

sense of entitlement, her high-maintenance, superficial, and stuck up

attitude, her snootiness and her sense of superiority. This “princess”

syndrome means that she will always think that she is better than you,

43

and that she deserves and she is entitled to whatever she wants from

you.

2) Her inherent anti-male bias and pre-occupation with fairness that

was drilled into her at high school, college, and through the media.

Her constant confrontations and trying to prove herself and to make a

point.

3) Her general mental instability and psychological disorders.

4) Her being distinctly non-feminine.

5) Her using sex as a weapon and reward to get things.

All these things have been deeply engrained into her brain over the

first 20-30 years of her life and she is not going to change.

With foreign women, you don’t really have any of these problems:

1) Anti-male bias in education system and in the media abroad does not

exist.

2) Foreign women have a lot less expectations and sense of

entitlements. Many foreign women have zero superficial, stuck-up and

superior attitudes.

3) Foreign women are a lot more mentally stable.

4) Foreign women are very feminine.

5) Foreign women were not raised to use sex as a reward they give.

It’s possible, but it’s not likely. Your odds of having a happy

relationship with the non-American raised woman are infinitely

greater. First of all, she was not raised in an anti-male culture. She

was also raised to be a lot less spoiled, self- centered, and have a

lot less expectations. A lot of foreign women living in the US with

American husbands/ boyfriends look at native born North American women

as pathetic children, not real women. Many foreign women choose not

even to socialize with North American women; as they have their own

culture that they prefer.

SingleAbroad.com deals with this issue in greater detail. Some men

actually prefer to spend time abroad and date women there, but not

bring them to the US.

44

Sure there are exceptions. The real issue is why would you look for a

rare exception among American women when there are tens of millions of

foreign women who’ll make much better wives or girlfriends. Marrying

or even seriously dating an American woman is simply an unacceptable

risk. Let’s say you find a woman who does not seem overly selfish and

materialistic. How do you know if her core beliefs are not anti-male?

How do you know she will not become confrontational and preoccupied

with fairness after marriage? How do you know she does not have

personality disorders that will cause her to always be depressed, etc?

How do you know she’ll continue having regular sex after marriage?

You parents were raised with different values. That’s the main reason

marriage in prior generations lasted. You have to explain to them that

things have changed, and marriage to an American woman is the dumbest

thing a man can do today. It will take them a while to understand it,

but they eventually will.

Things are only bad if you get suckered into marrying an American

woman or having children with an American woman. Things are better

than ever if you don’t want to get married at all, or if you find a

foreign woman who was raised in a culture conducive to being a good

wife.

45

Chapter 24

Marriage is a farce -- a social construct that binds two people

together when it is quite possible (if not probable) that each of them

will grow to want different things out of life. Too often -- instead

of acknowledging this basic fact, one tries to "change" the other, or

each tries to change the other. OR -- they both cave "for the sake of

saving the marriage" while sacrificing happiness in the only life that

they know for sure that they have...

Marriage turns to crap no matter what you do. At best it’s a tedious

bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good

measure.

American women put up a "pre-marital dog & pony show" to impress you.

Make you think you’re in love. But once you sign the dotted line of

marriage, BAM, they get fat, bitchy, cheat on you, and ass-rape you in

divorce court.

American women offer up a shit sandwich and then get pissed off when

men go elsewhere to eat.

If I ever think I want to get married, I’ll find a woman I don’t like

and buy her a house.

Marriage - The coffin of love -- Ambrose Bierce

Marriage - attempt to make something permanent out of something

temporary.

46

Chapter 25

Please email me your comments and suggestions regarding the list.

The main criteria used for the list:

1. Many friendly and easy-to-meet women.

2. Overall a nice place to live (Variety of things to do. Not too much

crime, traffic, pollution).

San Francisco and Seattle are in the class of their own as absolutely

the worst cities for single men. The cities have more young men than

women because of the technology industry. Plus, most women there are

feminist bitches with bad attitude who purposely ugly themselves up.

This is the accurate description of both places:

Canadian special. Vancouver has the same problems as San Francisco.

Toronto is the worst of SF and NY in one place. Toronto may very well

be the worst city in the world to meet and date women.

NYC and LA are good if you enjoy playing women's mind-games and

throwing money at women. NYC and LA have the most psychotic and

mentally unstable women. You'll be dating one psychotic bitch after

another. But many are hot.

Stuck-up women. Not worth any effort.

Stuck up women. Ski/outdoor culture attracts more young men than

women.

47

Smaller version of Los Angeles.

College towns are small, but they may offer a good lifestyle to single

men. They have a variety of things to do, plus there are many college

women to choose from.

The problem with Austin is that every feminist bitch in Texas moves

there. But it's a great city overall. So it's a bit of a mixed bag.

Austin probably belongs on the list of the best cities though.

Better than San Francisco, but the same general problems.

48

I am not suggesting that Midwestern and Southern women will make good

wives and good mothers. But they are definitely less damaged goods

than women in large coastal cities.

Chapter 26

Take a couple of days off work and go to divorce court. Do it,

particularly if you are still considering marrying an American woman.

Divorce court is where the true colors of American women are in full

display. It is an extremely eye opening experience. It will really

help you understand how selfish and hypocritical American women really

are.

means satirical or exaggerated. It’s meant to be an accurate portrayal

of contemporary marriage and contemporary American women. I hope that

it helped you decide if you want to get married in the near future and

if your girlfriend will make a good wife.

I’ll finish the book by looking at marriage from a different angle.

Let’s think about all the effort being put into promoting and

encouraging marriage. Think of how much government promotes marriage.

Think of how much every woman promotes marriage. Go to any bookstore

and look at a long list of women’s magazines and women’s self-help

books – they all promote marriage. Think of how much TV, movies, and

the media in general promote marriage. Think of how much religious

organizations promote marriage. Think of the army of psychiatrists,

psychologists, marriage counselors, and other marriage and

relationships “experts” who all promote marriage.

And with all this marriage promotion, over 50% of marriages end up in

divorce, and the majority of those not ending up in divorce are in

horrible shape. Something is clearly not working here.

I don’t know of any other aspect of our lives where so much effort is

being put into promoting something that fails so miserably.

noMarriageSite@yahoo.com

www.noMarriage.com

First Edition

Copyright © 2004

Jon Hertzog

IMPORTANT

This book is not a legal text and the information contained within does

not constitute legal advice.

The author is not a lawyer and does not claim to be a lawyer. The words

in this book constitute an expression of the freedom of the press. The

author is not responsible for the actions, results, or events that may

occur in the lives of any readers of this book.

The purpose of this book is to entertain.

2

Chapter 1 - page 3

Chapter 2 - page 5

Chapter 3 - page 7

Chapter 4 - page 18

Chapter 5 - page 23

Chapter 6 - page 24

Chapter 7 - page 28

Chapter 8 - page 30

Chapter 9 - page 31

Chapter 10 - page 34

3

Chapter 1

There are many reasons people get divorced. I don't want to discuss most

of these reasons here. If you want to divorce for whatever reason, then

it’s not for me to have an opinion on that.

But I want to discuss the possible depression and general unhappiness

your wife may have. Woman’s depression as the reason for divorce is

given very little attention, but it's either the main reason or the

important contributing reason to why Americans get divorced. It’s

important for two reasons:

1. You need to be able to understand if it’s happening and if it’s

having negative affect on you.

2. You need to understand that your wife will likely behave irrationally

and in vindictive manner during divorce (including possibly fabricating

accusations against you in front of the judge).

Several things contribute to why western women get depressed and unhappy

after marriage:

1. Conflict between "being taken care by a strong man" fairy tale she

was listening to since childhood and having a powerful and fulfilling

career. This conflict gets much worse when she has children and has to

make choices and compromises between career and being with children.

2. Conflict between being an independent woman and a wife. Western women

are always told that they need to be independent and "grow as an

individual". That inevitably comes in conflict with being a wife and

thinking of herself as one unit with her husband. Western women spend a

lot of time thinking if they are "truly fulfilled". The more they think

about it, the more depressed they usually get.

3. Stress. Women are often stressed over superficial things like which

shoes to wear. After she has children she is also stressed because of

the new responsibilities, time, and financial commitments. Stress is a

leading contributing factor to depression.

4. Personality Disorders and being mentally unstable. A large percentage

of western women have personality disorder(s) since they were teens. A

lot of women are on medication. Many personality disorders have

depression as one of the main symptoms.

All the above contributing factors usually come together when she is in

her mid thirties and has small children. From that point on the husband

is usually stuck dealing with increasingly depressed and unhappy wife

who views her husband as a walking paycheck and who blames him for

4

everything. The menopause in her 40s further increases her depression

and unhappiness with her present life and the present husband.

Western women often start getting depressed since they were 18 years

old. Society tells women that they're not successful unless they can get

a gorgeous, well-paid man (yet someone who does not work too much and

spends a lot of time at home), and have kids. They're told this from

when they're tiny kids. Then, as they get older they're told they also

have to have successful and fulfilling jobs. They are also told that

they are not successful unless they are "truly fulfilled and grow as a

person".

Your wife probably asks herself if she is "truly happy" and "truly

fulfilled", as well as "growing as a person". She probably reads selfhelp

books and magazine articles that deal with these subjects. One

thing almost all of these books have in common is that they are written

by men-hating feminists. The more she reads these books and articles,

the more she will start thinking that she is not happy in life and in

marriage and that you are the main (and possibly the only) reason for

that.

Her female friends, women's magazines, and daytime TV shows will

reinforce these feeling even further. The media will also reinforce her

sense of general helplessness.

Women also greatly underestimates emotional and financial costs of

raising children. 80% of women get at least short-term form of

postpartum depression after they give birth. Many stay depressed for

years after that.

All these things contribute to women's sense of hopelessness and

confusion and lead to their depression and you being trapped and blamed

for everything.

5

Chapter 2

At some point modern American woman decides she wants a divorce for

whatever (often petty) reason.

She plans out the divorce in detail, taking her time shutting down all

her feelings for the man. She does this by building up a mental store of

his every fault - real, exaggerated or imagined, until she hates the guy

- which is what allows her to cut off her feelings for him.

Even though the above is not fair or necessary, she does this because

it's a lot easier to be self-righteously angry, shifting all blame to

him, rather than go through the painful, yet honest process of mourning

the death of a relationship where fault can't really be placed fully on

either side.

She doesn't tell the man until she has fully cut herself off

emotionally, reversing her feelings for him, and has made most

preparations to divorce.

The man may have noticed her feelings cooling to him, but she has

deliberately hidden her deeper change, and her future agenda.

So from the guy's point of view, one day a loving wife turns 180 degrees

into absolutely hating him, acting in spiteful, psychotic ways he never

would have imagined her capable of. It's like a switch going from on to

off.

As she has pre-justified it all to herself, demonizing him in her mind,

she has no hesitation in acting in ruthless and hateful ways towards him

from the moment she declares her intention to divorce.

It is almost always a shock for men to discover this side to women, as

for most men this is an unimaginable way to think and behave.

The way it really works is that women do what they want (for any

irrational reason) and then rationalize why they did it later. There's

no point looking for rational explanations.

If you are trapped with a modern American woman like that, then

preparing for divorce and divorcing your wife is your only way out.

You need to assume that your relationship with your wife during divorce

will be adversarial. She may start lying and acting in bad faith. Your

wife will be influenced by her friends, co-workers, daytime talk-shows,

her own divorce attorney, and other sources. She will be made feel like

she will be betraying all the present and future generations of women

6

unless she uses all the tricks in her disposal and takes all your money

and punishes you.

She will be told by everyone that she is the victim and you are the

scumbag, and that she deserves to take you to the cleaners and punish

you for the rest of your life.

Many divorce attorneys routinely recommend women to start divorce with

false abuse accusation against the husband. That way they can

immediately gain the upperhand and the husband is put in the defensive

position where he has to spend time and money trying to prove he is not

an abuser scumbag instead of trying to get a fair divorce. False

accusations by women are becoming standard procedures in divorce courts.

Things you may get falsely accused of in divorce court:

1. Hiding money

2. Emotionally and/or physically abusing wife

3. Emotionally and/or physically and/or sexually abusing children

You can expect a court order barring you access to your house and/or

seeing children based on abuse accusations above. Another court order

can freeze your finances.

You need to prepare for divorce and file for divorce first in order to

improve your odds of getting a fair divorce.

7

Chapter 3

Preparing for divorce can take several months or even longer.

What not to do - be in denial about your future divorce and not

preparing for it.

What to do - prepare for divorce, then divorce.

What not to do - act before you properly prepare for divorce.

What to do - prepare everything, then act.

What not to do - start treating your wife badly.

What to do - treat her better than ever while you are preparing divorce

(but do not overdo it, or she may get suspicious).

What not to do - argue with your wife and threaten divorce.

What to do - prepare, then file for divorce.

What not to do - assume that your prenuptial and postnuptial contracts

are bullet-proof.

What to do - know that your wife may challenge their validity (see

chapter 8).

What not to do - feeling guilty about your divorce preparation.

What to do – prepare. You wife will prepare for you if you do not.

What not to do - think that your wife will be rational and fair during

divorce.

What to do - ASSUME she will be completely irrational, vindictive, and

start acting in bad faith.

What not to do - assume the divorce court will be fair towards you.

What to do - prepare the best you can and leave as little for the court

to decide as possible.

What not to do - assume that your wife is not preparing to divorce you.

What to do - assume that she is, or assume nothing in that regard.

What not to do - withdraw money in a lump sum the day before you file

for divorce (although that may still be better than leaving the money

there).

What to do - withdraw money in reasonably small (small as it relates to

your lifestyle) amounts over a period of several months or even years.

What not to do – talk to a therapist. Anything you say can later be used

against you in court (particularly as it relates to children)

What to do – do not see a therapist with your wife. It’s a lose/lose

proposition.

8

What not to do - trust people you know with your divorce preparations.

What to do - trust no-one. The less people know the better.

What not to do - admit that you are preparing divorce if your wife gets

suspicious

What to do - say "I love you more than ever".

What not to do - move in with your GF during the divorce.

What to do - do not mention your GF to anyone until your divorce is

over. You GF will give your wife extra sympathy and advantage in divorce

court.

Make as little money as possible 1-2 years before divorce.

That is absolutely crucial. If possible, postpone any income until after

you get divorced. Work less, or do not work at all if you can get away

with that. Your paycheck is the single most important thing that will

determine how much you will be paying your wife after you get divorced.

You should give your wife and the judge reasons why you started to work

less. You don't want to say that you quit your job so you can lay on the

beach all day and pick up young women.

Here are some good reasons to stop working or work less before filing

for divorce:

* You want to spend more time with your children and be a better father.

Women do that all the time. Who can blame a father for wanting to spend

more time with his children.

* You got laid off. Make sure you get laid off before filing for divorce

if you think you are going to be laid off anyway.

* You are going back to school and/or re-training yourself. See more on

that below.

* You are stressed and burnt out. That's a perfectly valid reason to

stop working or work less. Women do it all the time; so can you. Go see

a doctor so there are records of your stress.

* You are depressed (work-related or not). Another thing women love

doing. Depression is an illness and a valid reason to work less.

* You want to have a more "meaningful life", want to "find your true

self", "grow spiritually", etc. Buy some books on "finding true self" on

Amazon so there are records of you being interested in this subject.

* You have to care for a sick relative.

9

* Start (temporarily unprofitable) business. A lot of businesses make

little or no money in the first couple of years. Starting a business can

help you in several ways. It can explain why you work less on your day

job and make less money. It is also potentially a good way to hide

assets. You can invest a lot of money into your business and acquire

“assets” that are hard to locate, or that somehow “lost” value.

Lower your standard of living (at least your documented standard of

living) before you file for divorce.

This is one of the most important things you should do.

Lower yours and your wife's standards of living one-two years before

divorce. The lower your standard of living before divorce, the better

off you will be after divorce. All divorce help books for women tell

them to start spending like crazy before divorce, so she might be trying

to increase her standard of living while you are trying to lower it.

If you own a business you can tell her that you are making less money

short-turn, but will have a big payoff that she will greatly benefit

from in the future. You can say that you are using money to expand your

business or something along this line.

You can tell your wife that you are saving money for a big purchase that

will benefit her, like a new house, or even a big SUV she has been

dreaming about.

Or just explain that you are having financial difficulties.

Start paying for things with cash. Pay cash when you take your wife to

expensive restaurant, but use credit card when you go to Macdonald's.

That way there are records of you eating at inexpensive restaurants

only. Don’t allow you wife to buy expensive things for herself with your

credit card. Buy things for her yourself if you must and pay cash. That

way there are no records of you living lavishly.

Reduce your apparent long-term earning power as much as possible.

You want to look like a man not capable of making a good living when you

stand in from of the judge. Use the above suggestions when you are

explaining why your life focus changed and you are no longer a harddriving

workaholic working 60-hour weeks and making a lot of money you

once were.

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Encourage your wife to work, even help her get a job if you have to.

You want your wife to work as much as possible and earn as much as

possible during 1-2 years before you file for divorce.

Go back to school and/or retrain yourself 1-2 years before divorce.

A great thing about going to school before divorce is that you may be

able to pre-pay your whole duration of school with your pre-divorce

money. So if you ever wanted to go back to school and/or acquire

additional professional licenses, etc, right now is a great time to do

it.

Going to school is also a good excuse to work less and earn less money.

It is also a good excuse for your wife to work more.

If you have significant equity in your house.

You should see a lawyer early with this specific issue. The house may be

the single biggest thing you can lose out on financially during divorce.

If you have children under eighteen years old and your wife gets their

custody, then she will likely be allowed to keep the house, and you

might be stuck continuing paying for it.

What you should tell your lawyer is more or less: "I am planning to file

for divorce in a year or so. My wife and I have a lot of equity in the

house. What should I do now to maximize the probability that I will get

my fair share of the equity during divorce".

You will generally be better off selling the house before you divorce.

It will be easier to split the money than to split the house. Talk your

wife into selling the house and moving, then file for divorce before

buying another house. Or see if you can talk her into selling the house

because “the market is overvalued” or for any other reason.

Another thing you can do is take the second mortgage with a private

source and withdraw equity from the house. It may backfire against you

during divorce, but people do withdraw all equity from their house and

“gamble” it away, etc.

Do not do home improvements or buy new furniture.

Everything you spent on improvements and furniture will likely benefit

your wife only after you divorce. You will spend thousands and thousands

of dollars on improvements, your wife will keep all of it, and you will

be stuck with the debt.

11

Keep the assets you had prior to marriage (or property received during

marriage by gift or inheritance) separate from the assets you acquired

during marriage.

Hopefully you have already been doing that all along. Now is certainly

not the time to mix any assets you owned before marriage (or property

received during marriage by gift or inheritance) and assets you acquired

during marriage.

Get a credit report that lists all your accounts and credit cards.

You need to know exactly what you have before you can decide which

accounts and credit cards to close.

Gradually cancel your credit cards.

But make sure and leave the card(s) your wife is using opened for now.

Cancel the cards your wife is using right before you announce divorce.

Start paying cash for things. The less credit cards you have opened, the

less credit card debt she can run up before (or after, you may still be

liable for that as well) the divorce. Also, the less records of your

pre-divorced life there are, the better. Her divorce lawyer will have

less material to work with.

Keep as much of your assets under your name only as possible.

Transfer as many assets under your name only as you can get away with.

Cash checks that are not your regular paychecks instead of depositing

them.

The less records of your income and deposits, the better.

Consider filing bankruptcy before, during, or after divorce.

Bankruptcy will not discharge alimony and child support, but it will

generally allow you to get rid of all other divorce-related debts,

including continuing making house payments for your ex-wife. It is

crucial that you try to minimize alimony and child-support payments to

your wife.

Pay off certain debts from your joined account.

Particularly your IRS and student loans debts. You are going to have to

pay them back anyway, so you might as well do it from your joined

account. But don’t pay off debts for your wife (her car or her credit

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cards), and don’t pay any more than you are legally required for the

house.

Document anything illegal and unethical your wife does.

Don’t do anything illegal and unethical yourself (including drinking,

particularly if you want custody of children). Chapter 5 has detailed

information on documenting illegal and unethical things that your wife

may be doing.

Educate yourself on divorce laws in your state before seeing a lawyer.

Get a recent divorce law book for your state that covers all the main

divorce laws in your state and how they are usually interpreted. Learn

as much about divorce law in your state as you can, particularly as it

relates to house and children.

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody has a list of pro-men attorneys and

useful articles and other legal information you should read.

http://groups.google.com/groups?group=alt.support.divorce

http://groups.google.com/groups?group=alt.mens-rights

http://groups.google.com/groups?group=soc.men

Spend a few hours reading deltabravo.net and searching the three above

newsgroups for keywords (Your state, custody, abuse, etc…) relevant to

your future divorce.

Hire a good lawyer.

You want a lawyer who is good at what he/she does, who is on your side,

and who is honest (does not overbill you) and reliable.

It is very important that your attorney is not brainwashed by feminist

agenda. Many divorce attorneys will have underlying mindset that women

are always victims and deserve to benefit from divorce. Attorney like

that will not really be on your side and will not give you the best

objective advice (in some cases you may even get bad-faith advice). Do

not assume that all male attorneys are men-friendly and female attorneys

are women-friendly. I would say there is an equal chance that a menfriendly

attorney can be a man or a woman.

When you first talk with an attorney, say something along the line of

“My wife was treating me unfairly and I want to get as much as possible

out of divorce and leave her as little as possible”. His reaction to

that should be positive and reassuring that he understands and will help

you do just that. Fire him on a spot he says anything like “you need to

be fair”, “your wife deserves…”, etc…

Ask the lawyer what he does charge for, and what he does not charge for.

13

Make sure that the lawyer is billing you for the actual time expended.

Ask for itemized monthly bills.

Establish your wife's fault before filing for divorce, if possible.

Fault is usually not necessary to get divorced today; but your wife's

fault will help you during divorce. The most common reasons to establish

her fault are:

Never say anything to anyone that you don't want to be used in court

against you.

Divorce is a legal process. Any time you are involved in any legal

process, the less you talk the better.

Open a post office box.

All the mail related to your divorce preparation should be going there.

You can also start sending your bank statements and other financial

statements to your PO box.

Get a pre-paid phone.

Use it for all phone calls your wife and her future divorce attorney do

not need to know about. That's particularly crucial if you have a

girlfriend, or you are talking with people related to your divorce

preparation, but you should do it regardless. Your phone records is

another thing her divorce lawyer will be going through. Virgin mobile

works well for pre-paid wireless. You buy the phone and pre-paid minutes

(buy it with cash obviously), then activate it by phone or online (do it

from the computer your wife has no access to). Don't give Virgin your

name or any real information about you. Then buy extra minutes from 7-

Eleven or other places they are sold by paying cash (you don’t want $50

charge for Virgin Pre-paid Mobile on your CC statement).

Get free web-based email like mail.yahoo.com or hotmail.com.

Use it for everything related to your divorce preparation, your

financial information, and everything else your wife does not need to

know about. Do not log into your email account on the computer your wife

has access to (more on that later on in the chapter).

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Do not exaggerate your net worth and income on loan applications.

Your loan applications where you exaggerate your income/net worth can be

used against you in divorce court.

Start hiding valuable items you own and items that hold sentimental

value to you.

Start removing these items from the house and store them in a secure

location your wife does not know about. But only do it if your wife does

not notice. Otherwise do it right before you file for divorce.

Fire your stockbrokers/financial advisors if they talk to your wife.

You do not want people knowledgeable about your finances talking to your

wife. Either manage your finances yourself until the divorce is over, or

hire someone your wife does not know and will not find out about.

Hide all your current and past financial records from your wife and

remove any copies of your past financial records your wife may have.

Remove your bank statements, tax returns, deeds, wills, etc… Don’t

forget to remove any electronic records (computer hard drive, copies on

CDs, etc – more on that below). Do it without alarming your wife. The

less financial records your wife has and the less she knows about your

finances, the better.

Replace your compute hard drive.

Replace your computer hard drive when you start preparing for divorce.

Also, hide or destroy all the backups of your hard drive data you may

have made. Your computer hard drive probably has your financial records

and account numbers and has things that can be used against you in

divorce court (records of you emailing other women, porn, or even

looking at websites such as FireYourWife.com can in theory be used

against you).

Buy another hard drive for your computer, put the same operating system

and software as your existing hard drive and replace them. Or you can

say that the old hard drive crashed, everything on it was lost, and you

replaced it. Do not just erase the data on your old drive or reformat

it; buy a new drive and replace them. Once you replaced the hard drive,

stop using your home computer to look at sensitive information on the

web, read your email (your wife can make copies of emails you send and

read) and keep personal information on this computer.

15

Basically use the home computer to play Solitaire and look at ESPN.com.

Keep the old hard drive where your wife will not find it or destroy it.

You can also buy a small portable hard-drive (some of the new once will

fit on a keychain) and use it to store the sensitive information you

don't want your wife to have access to. Or just buy a small laptop or

PDA your wife does not know about and make sure she does not find it

(she will be very curious about it if she finds it).

The bottom line is that your computer probably knows a lot more about

you than you realize and this information can really hurt you during

divorce.

One day before you file for divorce:

companies in writing that you are canceling the cards and will not be

responsible for any charges after the present date. Make copies and

mail them by certified mail.

cards above.

lines, or any other credit lines your wife can tap into.

both of your names. Your wife can at any time get a court order

preventing you from accessing your safe deposit box.

different bank that's under your name only. Don't hide the money that

were in your joined account at this point. Just explain that you

removed the money from the joined account so you wife can not

maliciously withdraw and hide it.

from the house that are valuable, have sentimental value to you, or

anything else you absolutely want to hold on to (renting a short-term

apartment your wife does not know about before filing for divorce may

not be a bad idea).

camcorder. Make sure the "date" function is turned on. Store the tape

away from home.

other records, and computer hard drive(s) your wife may be using, and

backup copies that might have been made (on CD-Rs, etc).

divorce. You need to think about personal safety.

think your wife will be calling them and falsely accusing you of

things.

16

Try to settle divorce yourself.

Tell you wife something like: “We are going to get divorced anyway. The

less money we spend on lawyers, the more we will have to divide among

ourselves.” Your goal is to sign a settlement before she hires a lawyer.

Then, if she agrees, have your lawyer write the settlement terms you can

live with and have your wife sign it. Whatever your wife agrees on

before she consults her lawyer will generally be more in your favor than

if her lawyer gets involved. You obviously want to do it only after you

prepared for divorce and you are ready to discuss divorce with your

wife.

If your wife is financially dependent on you.

Don’t cut her support entirely the day you announce your intention to

divorce her. Continue supporting her basic needs to the best of your

financial ability, and make sure it’s documented. You don’t want to give

her ammunition to file temporary relief motion – you’ll probably end up

paying a lot more if she does.

Be careful with changing locks.

Be prepared that your wife will change house locks. It’s (usually) legal

for either party to change locks, so you can in theory change them

yourself first. But be careful, particularly if you have children.

Whoever is locked out can claim that they were denied the opportunity to

return home and be with their children. Call police if she locks you

out. You have as much right to be in your house as she does.

Check to see if your wife is hiding money in the house.

Check in the freezer (particularly if you do not cook) and in her closet

(her clothing and shoe boxes). Check other places in the house where

your wife often goes but you hardly ever do.

If you have a girlfriend.

Do not mention your girlfriend to your wife and preferably anyone else.

You might be surprised how many of your “friends” may start helping your

wife during your divorce. You GF will give your wife extra sympathy and

advantage in divorce court. Watch out for private investigators.

Don’t move out of the house during divorce.

Not unless the court orders you.

17

Research the potential judge(s) who might sit on your case.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. Either you or your lawyer has to make sure the

judge is not prejudicial. Try to get a different judge if the judge has

a history of making pro-women divorce decisions. Replacing the judge

during the divorce is something most men probably do not think about,

yet it may be the single most important thing you can do to make your

divorce outcome favorable to you. Talk to your lawyer about the

potential judges and potentially replacing them. Please email me

story from a link on FireYourWife.com if you manage to replace the judge

during the divorce.

During the divorce:

interests.

income.

children, or any future undetermined bills. Do not agree to pay

anything that is open-ended and opened to interpretation.

File for divorce before the tenth anniversary.

Find out after how many years your wife is entitled to more in your

state; file for divorce before the anniversary.

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Chapter 4

"Secrets are not necessarily bad. Putting money away can be a wonderful

thing for a relationship" - exact quote from a divorce book for women.

Withdrawing money from your bank account and keeping it elsewhere is

100% legal. There is no law that says that you can not keep money hidden

in your house or in some secret location. There is also no law that says

you have to tell your wife you withdrew $500 from your account (or your

joined account) just like there is no law that says your wife has to get

your permission before buying $500 purse with your credit card.

Start withdrawing several hundred to several thousand dollars per month

(or more if is consistent with your lifestyle) from your account and

hide it.

Withdrawing a lot of money right before filing for divorce will put you

in unfavorable positions in front of the judge. You need to withdraw

reasonably small (reasonably small for your lifestyle) amounts over the

period of months or years. So the sooner you start withdrawing money,

the better.

If you start withdrawing a lot more money than is reasonably consistent

with your lifestyle, then you may want to try the “lost money gambling”

angle. Go to a casino and withdraw the money there (ATM, bank transfer)

in chips. Then convert your chips back into cash later. Make sure you

have records of gambling inside the casino and preferably staying in a

nearby hotel overnight. Use your credit card to pay for things inside

the casino and the hotel so there are records of you being there. Make

sure you understand that your “gambling problem” will probably hurt your

chances of getting the custody of children.

Here are some of the places you can keep the money once you withdraw it:

Withdrawing money and not keeping it in a bank.

You may decide to hide the money in the house. There are many places in

your house you might be able to hide the money. You obviously need to

put the money where a thief is not likely to find it. So avoid hiding

money in places where a thief will usually look - obvious places that

are locked, and places like desk drawers and bottoms of closet drawers.

Keeping money in the house may be dangerous if your wife suspects you

might be doing it. She has literally hundreds of hours to look for money

if she suspects your are hiding it in the house.

Here are some alternatives to keeping the money in the house:

19

wooded area). You obviously need to make sure the money (or other

things you are hiding) do not get found accidentally and do not get

wet or destroyed/damaged by other natural elements.

I would not recommend keeping the money in the bank safe deposit box

under your name because your wife can get a restraining order barring

you from accessing your bank safe deposit box. You definitely don’t want

to keep the money there if your relationship with your wife is already

confrontational.

Do not hide the money in your car. There is too much risk of the car

getting stolen.

You can also buy and hide gold or other small valuable items instead of

cash.

Your friend or relative can keep your money in his account.

Your friend or relative can open an account under his name and address

that you'll be using to deposit money.

A few things to consider here:

need to think long and hard if you really trust the person.

to be unconditionally on your side and not your wife's side. Your wife

may be calling your friends and relatives during divorce asking them

for information and to be witnesses against you.

is very old or very ill.

sued. You basically want to do it with someone who is not likely to

get in trouble.

You can not write checks from your account and deposit them into your

friend’s account. There can be no paper trial or electronic trial

between your account(s) and your friend's account.

You also don't want to deposit too much money into his account because

IRS might ask your friend where this money came from. The amount of

20

money you deposit should be proportional to how much your friend makes

(unless he is wealthy, in which case you can deposit whatever is

consistent with his other financial transactions). 20% of his yearly

income every year is probably reasonable; so don't put more that $10,000

a year if he makes $50,000.

The best way to put money into his account is to deposit cash. But you

don't want to have $1,000 withdrawals from your account on the 15th of

each month, and $1,000 cash deposits into his account on the 16th

(particularly if he is your close relative). So make a lot of small

withdrawals, but several large deposits, or vice versa.

The account should be non-interest bearing, or you can give your friend

cash for the tax he'll be paying on the interest the account earns.

Opening bank account(s) that your wife is less likely to find.

Get Sole proprietor business tax ID and use it instead of your SSN to

open the account.

Get driver license (or ID card) from another state. You'll have a

different drivers license number to use.

Use your passport instead of your drivers license to open the account.

Or use another ID if the bank will accept it instead of drivers license

(you don't want your regular drivers license number and SSN on the

account)

Use your foreign passport if you have one.

Don't use the same spelling of your name. Use middle name (particularly

if you technically have it but usually do not use it), or don't use

middle name if you normally use it.

Open a PO box and use it for the bank statements. Don't use this PO box

for any other mail.

Have the account be non-interest bearing.

Opening a bank account without using your SSN.

There are millions of illegal aliens living in the US. They have no

legal US documents, no SS numbers, yet almost all of them have US bank

accounts.

Bank account that does not have your name, SSN, and address will be

virtually untraceable by your wife.

21

I have no idea how illegal immigrants open bank accounts without real

documents, but millions of them do it; so whatever they are doing must

be working.

Opening a bank account like that may have perfectly legitimate and

ethical reasons. Identity theft is a growing problem affecting millions

of Americans a year. Opening a bank account that is not linked to your

name/SSN/address is a good way to avoid having your money stolen by

identity thieves.

Buy collectibles your wife does not know about.

Many small things sell for thousands of dollars on Ebay and seem to be

appreciating in value over time. Only do it if you understand the

particular collectibles market. Avoid paying by check/wire

transfer/credit card from the account your wife has access to as much as

possible.

Transferring money into foreign and/or offshore bank account.

Transferring money into foreign bank accounts is probably not worth it

unless you have $100,000 or more to transfer. For smaller amounts it

seems easier and safer to just withdraw and keep money in the US. I

would also highly recommend getting financial advice from an expert in

transferring money to foreign account before doing that.

There can be no records of money transfers or written checks between

your US account(s)and your foreign account(s).

You can take up to $10,000 out of the US every time you travel abroad,

plus you can withdraw $400 or so per day from each one of your US bank

accounts from ATMs while you are abroad.

You will need to report the interest you earn on your foreign account(s)

to the IRS, but you do not need to mention the account existence to

anyone. Your bank statements can not be sent to your home address (or

any address your wife has access to). Foreign accounts are not likely to

be found during divorce unless your wife (and her divorce attorney)

already knows where you have them.

Buying property abroad.

Foreign property ownership might be even harder to trace than foreign

bank accounts. Your wife obviously can not know about your foreign

property. You probably ought to keep it largely a secret from anyone.

You also can not pay for it directly from your US bank account.

Buying property abroad is a complicated subject. You need to know the

real estate law in the country you will be buying property at. Like

22

offshore bank account, it's probably not something you'll be doing if

you have less than $100,000 USD to work with. You should definitely hire

an expert in this subject if you decide to do it.

23

Chapter 5

Documenting illegal and unethical things your wife does (and everything

else that portrays her in negative manner) will really help you in

divorce court. It will be particularly important if you want to gain

custody of your children.

Think of documenting illegal and unethical things your wife does as an

insurance policy. You don’t have to use it, but it will be there for you

if you wife ever makes false accusations against you.

First, consult an attorney in your area to make sure video and audio

recorded evidence will be admitted in court where you live. You can also

speak to a local state prosecutor’s office regarding legalities of video

and audio recording your wife. State prosecutors will be familiar with

local prosecutions of violations of wiretap law and should be able to

tell you if it's legal or not where you live.

Be particularly careful wiretapping your wife's conversations on the

phone when she is not talking to you. It will often, but not always, be

considered illegal wiretap.

You can buy small inexpensive cameras that record video and audio and

install them in the house. You can also use small audio recorders to

record when you talk to you wife (or when she yells at you). I would

highly recommend buying a small audio recorder (they are now very cheap

and very small) and always carry it in case your wife starts engaging in

behavior you'd want to record.

Video record, audio record, make photos, keep diary and other records of

your wife doing any of the following (the more record you have, the

better):

you)

Evidence of your wife engaging in any of the above activity around

children will be particularly helpful during divorce.

24

Your videotapes and audio recordings may or may not be admissible in

court. But the more proof of negative things about your wife you have,

the better off you'll be during divorce.

Remember that emotional abuse is abuse. Anything she says that bothers

you or causes you emotional distress is abuse. Any time she yells or

insults you, she is engaging in emotional abuse. Record and document as

much of it as possible.

Document her lying and even exaggerating. The more proof you have of

things she lies about, the better. You want records you can use during

the divorce that will help you question the credibility of what she

says.

Abusing children

Women abuse children a lot more often than people think; majority of

child abuse is at the hands of mothers. If there are signs/evidence that

your wife abuses your children, video or audio record it if possible (or

take photos and otherwise document it), then call police and/or file

criminal action against your wife and seek her incarceration. Have your

children interviewed by psychologist right away to document your claim.

Threats or Physical abuse

Photograph physical evidence, including your injuries, and audio or

video tape the evidence.

Call 911, report the abuse or threats, and request police intervention.

When the police arrive, make sure that a complete police report is

created that lists all her action (screaming, threatening, hitting you,

etc...). Calling police may be particularly effective if your wife just

drank alcohol. Police will detect her intoxication and it will

substantially increase the credibility of your claim. Assault and

battery claim can be proven with no physical evidence.

Calling police can be somewhat risky because police will sometimes

arrest the man even though the woman is the one engaging in abusive or

threatening behavior (a video or audio tape of her abuse or threats

would really help you here). Still, calling police may be worth doing in

many cases. Records of your wife being arrested will help you in divorce

court.

Make sure you are the one calling 911 in domestic violence situation.

On an interesting sidenote, divorce books for women tell them to be very

careful when calling police in abuse situations. They warn women that

their husband may end up in jail, and therefore have lower pre-divorce

and post-divorce income. It’s an interesting example of how divorce

25

books for women assume that women will put their personal greed in front

of safety of their children.

Mental Abuse or Cruelty

See the counsel and treatment of a psychologist if your wife mentally

abuses you. It will help you document evidence of mental abuse and the

psychologist can be called as an expert witness to substantiate your

claims.

Keep diary with dates and times and complete summaries of abuse

statements or acts. Audio or video record abuse.

Alcohol or Drug Abuse

forget to do it at parties you may attend).

or drug abuse. Therapist can later testify in court against your wife.

custody.

Make sure you have records of criminal arrests and convictions against

your wife if they exist (during or prior to your marriage). Don't forget

her charges or convictions of driving while intoxicated, public

intoxication, drugs possession, or any other criminal violations.

"Help" the law enforcement charge and possibly arrest you wife is she is

engaging in illegal activity (including illegal drug use obviously).

Records of your wife's arrests and convictions will help you during

divorce.

26

Chapter 6

You will definitely need to see a qualified attorney and discuss it.

You will need to seek sole custody or primary custody. You will have to

show that you will provide better overall environment for raising

children than your wife and that it is in the best interest of the child

to be with you (or primarily be with you).

The easiest way to do it is to show that your wife is abusive or

otherwise unfit mother. The more negative evidence against your wife

described in the previous chapter you have, the better your chances will

be.

In addition to any evidence that your wife is abusive and otherwise

unfit, record evidence of her pursuing interests that conflict with

raising children. Just about anything that does not involve caring for

children can be included here. Particularly things that may show that

she is irresponsible, things like going out with friends to bars, or

trips to Las Vegas.

Courts no longer automatically give custody to women. You do have a

chance to get custody even if both of you seemingly qualify to get

custody.

Things that will work in your favor as it relates to custody:

wife described in the previous chapter.

the child.

depression).

mental health professional.

live.

27

children". It can be argued that she "derelicts in her duties as a

mother".

You and your wife will be evaluated on the above and other factors. The

more factors are in your favor, the better your chances of getting

custody. Make sure and document things your wife does that will increase

your chances of getting custody.

Have a history of caring for your children: get involved with their

school, take them to their activities, to doctor’s appointments, cook

for them, put them to bed, etc… Make sure you have as many records of

you caring for children as possible. You want to be as much involved

with their lives as possible.

Do not move out of the house. Don't let children stay with your wife or

her parents before and during divorce. Your wife's attorney will argue

that you voluntarily abandoned your children or that you reached an

informal agreement with your wife giving her custody.

You may want to try to persuade your wife to move away or travel "for a

while" while you stay with the children during divorce. You may be able

to argue that moving children from the stable environment you created

will be detrimental to them.

Consider getting a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO), specifying that

the children are prohibited from being taken out of the State. This will

prevent your spouse from taking the children to another State and

concealing them, something she may be legally able do if there is no TRO

in place.

You may be able to persuade your wife not to seek custody because

children will be a “burden” for her. That might work if your wife has a

career she wants to pursue. You can tell your wife that you will be

pursuing a non-profit career and her child-support payments will be

miniscule. Remind her how much children cost, and how much better off

she will be without the burden of children (particularly regarding her

career and dating life). There is absolutely no guarantee that it will

work, but it may be worth a try.

Here is an important thing to understand about modern American women. A

lot of them regret having children. The reason many of them want custody

is not because they genially want to raise children, but rather because

they hate you and want to punish you by keeping you away from children.

So children often become a sick power play on their part. Keep that in

mind when you talk to her about children. If you make her think that she

is not punishing you by fighting for custody, then she may not fight for

it on the first place.

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Chapter 7

Marital tort is basically a lawsuit one spouse can file against another

spouse.

The reasons for the lawsuit are usually claims that the other spouse

injured or harmed you, including causing you mental or emotional stress.

You need to be aware that your wife may bring marital tort suit against

you (including doing so frivolously). You also need to consider filing

your own marital tort suit against your wife. You'd be in a good

position if you file the lawsuit first and force your wife defending

herself instead of attacking you. Discuss it with your lawyer.

Here are the reasons your can use to file marital tort against your

wife:

You can claim that your wife "intentionally or recklessly caused you

severe emotional distress". Any occurrences of her yelling and

insulting can be considered emotional abuse. If it emotionally bothers

you, then it can become a basis for a lawsuit.

chapter 5 can be grounds for filing a marital tort.

gave you sexually transmitted disease, particularly if you allege that

she had extramarital affair(s).

Below are some additional suggestions from divorce books for women. Just

reverse the sexes, then you can use the same advice against her.

"By rolling the dice with a marital tort suit, you can let the court

decide just how despicable your husband is, and how much compensation

you should get for putting up with him for so many years".

"Filing a tort case against a husband can create leverage to get a

larger divorce settlement".

"The advantage of these particular suits is that you don't have to have

solid proof as a basis for a claim to sue... The entire claim can be

structured on your oral statements of evidence concerning his actions

towards you."

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"Another potential benefit of a marital tort claim is that a lawyer will

pursue that claim on a contingency fee basis, for a percentage of the

damages awarded by the court."

"Basically, by filing a marital tort claim, you can't lose. At worst,

you will get free representation on a percentage that will enable you to

harass your husband for a year or more in court."

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Chapter 8

Below are suggestions from divorce books for women:

"Challenge your prenuptial or postnuptial contract whenever you have any

real basis for challenge, regardless how small".

"You signed the contract under false pretenses". You agreed to the

contract based on an inaccurate fact or set of facts. You thought he was

healthy, he turned out to be ill. You thought he could have children, he

could not, etc...

"You were fraudulently induced to sign the marriage contract". Your

husband had misinformed you before you signed it. He hid assets from

you.

"The contract is unfair and unconscionable". The contract is unfair if

it is biased in favor of your husband. So basically any good contract

can be argued to be unfair and therefore void on this ground. "You

should ALWAYS claim that the contract is unfair".

Challenge any contract using "Other loopholes". "The threat of the

challenge may be enough to get your husband to give you more than the

contract specifies".

"Even if the claim is entirely invalid, your husband's lawyer will have

to charge him substantially to defend him". So it might be cheaper for

your husband just to give you what you want instead of fighting your

false claims.

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Chapter 9

She starts spending time with new female friends.

Watch for any new female friend(s) you wife may have. Pay particular

attention to women who are not friendly towards you. That may mean that

your wife is learning to hate you and she is preparing to divorce you.

A lot of these women will be overweight, with short butchy hair, look

asexual, and probably older than your wife. These type of women

basically become older uglier mentors to your wife. They hate men and

they hate you. They will brainwash your wife until she becomes one of

them. You need to be seriously concerned if you start noticing your wife

spending time with women like that. There is absolutely nothing you can

do to get your wife back on your side at this point.

Her female friends are less friendly towards you than they used to be.

You wife started badmouthing you and she is getting ready to divorce

you.

Her female friend(s) get divorced.

That may sound ridiculous, but her close friend getting divorced is

likely to have a strong influence on your wife. Watch for the other

signs described in this chapter ever closer.

She is becoming emotionally withdrawn, yet superficially "nice".

She is becoming emotionally withdrawn because she is learning to hate

you before filing for divorce. She is superficially nice and friendly

because divorce books teach her not to alarm you until the divorce is

official.

She starts going out with single or divorced friends.

She is probably doing it as part of her pre-divorce withdrawal process.

She starts watching Oprah, Dr Phil, or other similar shows.

She is either preparing divorce, or just learning how to nag, be unhappy

and depressed, and blame you for everything. So either you'll be getting

divorced soon or your life will turn to once continuing nag.

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She buys books and self-improvement, finding true meaning in life, etc…

These books will teach her that you are to blame for all her problems

and that she needs to leave you in order to be happy.

She stops working.

All divorce books for women emphasize that women should not work or work

as little as possible before filing for divorce.

She wants to live a more lavish lifestyle.

That's another thing all divorce books for women emphasize. She wants to

have a record of lavish life, so she can get as much money from you as

possible during divorce and possibly get alimony after divorce.

Your wife wants to do expensive home improvements or buy expensive

furniture.

She knows that she will probably keep the house with all the

improvements you paid for after the divorce.

Your wife starts seeing psychologist (and gets you to pay for it).

Nothing good can come out of it. Either she is genially going crazy, or

she is planning to use psychologist to accuse you of various things

during divorce. "You could have the satisfaction of knowing that your

husband is paying for his own character assassination" – quote from a

divorce book for women.

Watch your credit cards.

All divorce books for women advice them to run up credit cards.

She is asking you about financial records and any assets she may not be

aware of or she is making inquiries about your finances.

Divorce books teach her to gather all your financial records.

Your wife spends time in your office by herself.

She may drop by your office unexpectedly and say to the receptionist

that she is there to drop off a gift. What she wants is to find

financial documents you may be keeping in your office.

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Your wife starts talking to your stockbroker or business associates

about your assets.

Or she is trying to befriend your stockbroker or business associates.

One trick she may use is call them and tell them that she needs some

information urgently to "help her husband".

Your wife is befriending your secretary.

She is fishing for information about you. She may even try talking to

your associates secretaries or your broker's secretaries.

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Chapter 10

Below are the exact quotes from divorce books for women:

for divorce.

for the services with your husband's money.

think you deserve.

you can be.

money he has, the more time you will need to develop your plan.

retirement plans, homes, vehicles, other personal property) into your

name prior to filing for divorce.

embellishment or an outright lie… Most divorce judges will presume

that people in divorce situations will lie in court.

applications and financial statements.

spending on assets.

pays for the car in cash.

pockets!

except you did not.

charge! Then return for cash refund or resell that expensive stuff to

friends.

$300.

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card.

thing for a relationship.

accounts.

daily... Accuse him of having affairs (falsely)... Lend his money to

your relatives... Run up his credit cards... Nag, Nag, Nag...

keep him in a state of continual concern.